Dear Daddy,

[tinamarie1]

(I just really need to get this out, sorry)

You passed away a year ago this month. Strangely, I had not thought about you alot until this month. Then it dawned on me that a year ago I kissed you goodbye, held your hand one last time, cried when we buried you. I wish that I had tried harder to be close to you. I wish that I had come to see you more before you got sick. I wish that I had been more accepting of your alcoholism and not wanted to just turn away from the hurtful parts. I layed in bed this morning thinking of the good times we had. You took me to Disney World, the beach, to work with you. We would watch the Carol Burnett show together, you let me put sponge rollers in your hair and you fell asleep in your chair.
I think I am healing from the hurt between us. Instead of those memories, I now can focus more on how much I loved you. You made some bad mistakes, but you were and will always be my Daddy. I would give anything if I could call you and hear your voice. You would say "hey kiddo" and I would smile and say "hi daddy". You would ask about the kids and husband. Tell me about your garden you planted and about football teams.
It hurts to think that I can't see you or send you a fathers day card & gifts. I want so bad to hold your hand one last time. To look into your eyes even though I know you are not there anymore. To whisper in your ear that I forgive you and I love you so much.
I miss you Daddy.

 

[Abbey]

I'm so sorry, Tina. Huge cyber hugs.

Abbey

 

[Star*]

Tina,

I belive that your Dad is in a place where he is no longer and alcoholic, feels great, doesn't hurt anymore and will see you again - only healthy and forgiving of everything.

Sending you a hug for missing your Daddy.

Star

 

[totoro]

That was very touching and somewhere he is feeling you and these words of yours.

Big hugs

 

[Lothlorien]

Don't be too hard on yourself for wanting to stay away. Alcoholism changes people into very ugly things. Obviously, it doesn't change how much you miss the best part of him and those memories are the best. Sending hugs.

 

[Wiped Out]

(((Hugs)))

 

[witzend]

Star took the words right out of my mouth. Big hugs to you.

 

[Suz]

Tinamarie, I'm so sorry for your pain. Thank you for sharing.

Big hugs,
Suz

 

[tinamarie1]

thanks ladies. today was just really hard and i needed a place to vent

 

[JJJ]

Here's a shoulder to lean on.....(((hugs)))

 

[lovemysons]

Ohh, thinking of you tinamarie.

You are so blessed to have had a dad that you love so much.
Hey ya know...I don't see a reason you can't still pick out and write in a father's day card. Maybe it's just me but I would think sharing your real feelings and remembering still loving your father the way you do and expressing it is a very healing thing.

caring hugs,
Tammy