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Dear son
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<blockquote data-quote="DarkwingPsyduck" data-source="post: 695360" data-attributes="member: 20267"><p>Your son really doesn't realize just how fortunate he is... I would have been stoked to find out that my parents cared enough about me to spend so much time trying to understand and help me. Really, I would. We would all love to just be able to make our past mistakes vanish into nothingness, but that isn't how things work. Hopefully you can get your son to understand that the things you have said here were said ONLY in an attempt to understand the problem to better help him. </p><p></p><p>Still, when my aunt brings up some of the shameful <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/2012/censored2.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":censored2:" title="censored2 :censored2:" data-shortname=":censored2:" /> I did to her and others, I get incredibly uncomfortable. I tried to ignore all of those things, but trying that only makes it worse when it is inevitably brought up. Your son feels shame, and that isn't really a bad thing. If he is embarrassed about the things you have told us here, he understands why those things were wrong. It isn't like those memories are comfortable, or happy for YOU. He doesn't bother to think about how difficult it must have been for you to come to a place full of strangers, and display your own shortcomings and ignorance. That is NEVER easy. It isn't always about him, regardless of whether or not he agrees with that. YOU exposed yourself, and told the absolute truth even when you thought it might reflect poorly on you as a person, or a parent. Which it doesn't, by the way. It demonstrates what makes you a GOOD parent, and a compassionate woman. Speaking for the first time at an NA/AA meeting was incredibly difficult for me. I was terrified, even though the people there knew NOTHING else about me. It took me over a month, and I was literally shaking as I walked up to that podium. So I know just how much bravery and strength it took for you to come here like you did. Respect. Please, don't shy away. This is for HIS benefit, even if he doesn't see that. What you're doing is a positive thing. It is the right thing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DarkwingPsyduck, post: 695360, member: 20267"] Your son really doesn't realize just how fortunate he is... I would have been stoked to find out that my parents cared enough about me to spend so much time trying to understand and help me. Really, I would. We would all love to just be able to make our past mistakes vanish into nothingness, but that isn't how things work. Hopefully you can get your son to understand that the things you have said here were said ONLY in an attempt to understand the problem to better help him. Still, when my aunt brings up some of the shameful :censored2: I did to her and others, I get incredibly uncomfortable. I tried to ignore all of those things, but trying that only makes it worse when it is inevitably brought up. Your son feels shame, and that isn't really a bad thing. If he is embarrassed about the things you have told us here, he understands why those things were wrong. It isn't like those memories are comfortable, or happy for YOU. He doesn't bother to think about how difficult it must have been for you to come to a place full of strangers, and display your own shortcomings and ignorance. That is NEVER easy. It isn't always about him, regardless of whether or not he agrees with that. YOU exposed yourself, and told the absolute truth even when you thought it might reflect poorly on you as a person, or a parent. Which it doesn't, by the way. It demonstrates what makes you a GOOD parent, and a compassionate woman. Speaking for the first time at an NA/AA meeting was incredibly difficult for me. I was terrified, even though the people there knew NOTHING else about me. It took me over a month, and I was literally shaking as I walked up to that podium. So I know just how much bravery and strength it took for you to come here like you did. Respect. Please, don't shy away. This is for HIS benefit, even if he doesn't see that. What you're doing is a positive thing. It is the right thing. [/QUOTE]
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