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General Parenting
Deciding whom and how much to tell
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<blockquote data-quote="SearchingForRainbows" data-source="post: 221398" data-attributes="member: 3388"><p>Terri,</p><p></p><p>I love Jennifer's advice about giving him info in small doses - Just like sex ed, lol!!! I also believe that honesty is the best policy. I never hid anything from my difficult children. I just tried to make the info understandable for their social levels (not chronological age.) And, I didn't blast them with it all at once.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 1 never believed he had any psychological problems until he spent a week in a pysch hospital and three weeks in a psychiatric outpatient unit (He slept at home.) As an inpatient, he had a fantastic psychiatric who finally made him begin to understand his condition. It still took awhile before it fully sunk in. Now, almost 18, he fully understands his diagnoses. </p><p></p><p>I'm not sure if difficult child 2 will ever fully "get it." However, we try to make him understand on his own social, emotional level that he has some issues, and this is why he is on an IEP, sees a therapist, etc... </p><p></p><p>Most importantly, we tell both difficult children that having a disability does not mean you can use it as an excuse for not doing things. While difficult child 2 does not fully understand his disabilities, he still tries to use them as an excuse to get out of things he doesn't want to do - i.e. making his bed, cleaning up his room, etc...</p><p></p><p>As far is family is concerned, I'm a bad one to offer advice. husband's family chose to ignore that two of their grandsons have problems. With the exception of one of husband's sisters, no one wanted to help us, not even offer to babysit for an hour, when they were young. I no longer have any contact with my parents, but, when I did, they were in denial. I think they were embarrassed having grandchildren who were less than perfect.</p><p></p><p>I've sort of lost my train of thought - difficult child 2 has been in a "melt-down" for the last half hour. I hope I made a bit of sense. WFEN</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SearchingForRainbows, post: 221398, member: 3388"] Terri, I love Jennifer's advice about giving him info in small doses - Just like sex ed, lol!!! I also believe that honesty is the best policy. I never hid anything from my difficult children. I just tried to make the info understandable for their social levels (not chronological age.) And, I didn't blast them with it all at once. difficult child 1 never believed he had any psychological problems until he spent a week in a pysch hospital and three weeks in a psychiatric outpatient unit (He slept at home.) As an inpatient, he had a fantastic psychiatric who finally made him begin to understand his condition. It still took awhile before it fully sunk in. Now, almost 18, he fully understands his diagnoses. I'm not sure if difficult child 2 will ever fully "get it." However, we try to make him understand on his own social, emotional level that he has some issues, and this is why he is on an IEP, sees a therapist, etc... Most importantly, we tell both difficult children that having a disability does not mean you can use it as an excuse for not doing things. While difficult child 2 does not fully understand his disabilities, he still tries to use them as an excuse to get out of things he doesn't want to do - i.e. making his bed, cleaning up his room, etc... As far is family is concerned, I'm a bad one to offer advice. husband's family chose to ignore that two of their grandsons have problems. With the exception of one of husband's sisters, no one wanted to help us, not even offer to babysit for an hour, when they were young. I no longer have any contact with my parents, but, when I did, they were in denial. I think they were embarrassed having grandchildren who were less than perfect. I've sort of lost my train of thought - difficult child 2 has been in a "melt-down" for the last half hour. I hope I made a bit of sense. WFEN [/QUOTE]
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