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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 162157" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>{{{{{{{{Big hugs}}}}}}}}</p><p></p><p>You do what you have to in order to take care of yourself and your mother first. You will never forgive yourself if difficult child puts you in a position to neglect your mom when she is so ill.</p><p></p><p>I think that as far as the tall tales go, you seem to be saying that she really believes them? If so, and there aren't any outside influences like drugs or alcohol, then it does appear that she is delusional. What does your gut tell you? I think that maybe deep down inside you know what the answer is. I know you can't make a diagnosis, but I think you probably should tell CPS about it. It just now occured to me that it might be Narcissism. </p><p></p><p><strong>Narcissistic Personality Disorder</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong></strong><strong>A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy.</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong></strong><strong>1. An exaggerated sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements) </strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong></strong><strong>2. Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong></strong><strong>3. Believes he is "special" and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong></strong><strong>4. Requires excessive admiration</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong></strong><strong>5. Has a sense of entitlement</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong></strong><strong>6. Selfishly takes advantage of others to achieve his own ends</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong></strong><strong>7. Lacks empathy</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong></strong><strong>8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong></strong><strong>9. Shows arrogant, haughty, patronizing, or contemptuous behaviors or attitudes</strong>Here's a link to a good description of the diagnostic criteria and current thinking on treatment. When you get a chance, maybe you can look at it and see if it seems to fit?</p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/dsm-iv.html" target="_blank">http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/dsm-iv.html</a></p><p></p><p>I forget - are they making arrangements for her to have supervised visits with you <em>not</em> being the supervisor? I can tell that you are just about on your last nerve, and I worry about the added stress of visits with her and her "<em>I'm</em> his mom! <em>I</em> get to make all of the decisions!" attitude will do to you. If you get respite, can that be the time he sees his mom? That way there is an independent witness as to her behaviors.</p><p></p><p>My best wishes for your mom, and for you. I know this is a very difficult time. I'm sorry that your daughter is unable to pull it together.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 162157, member: 99"] {{{{{{{{Big hugs}}}}}}}} You do what you have to in order to take care of yourself and your mother first. You will never forgive yourself if difficult child puts you in a position to neglect your mom when she is so ill. I think that as far as the tall tales go, you seem to be saying that she really believes them? If so, and there aren't any outside influences like drugs or alcohol, then it does appear that she is delusional. What does your gut tell you? I think that maybe deep down inside you know what the answer is. I know you can't make a diagnosis, but I think you probably should tell CPS about it. It just now occured to me that it might be Narcissism. [B]Narcissistic Personality Disorder [/B][B]A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy. [/B][B]1. An exaggerated sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements) [/B][B]2. Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love [/B][B]3. Believes he is "special" and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions) [/B][B]4. Requires excessive admiration [/B][B]5. Has a sense of entitlement [/B][B]6. Selfishly takes advantage of others to achieve his own ends [/B][B]7. Lacks empathy [/B][B]8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him [/B][B]9. Shows arrogant, haughty, patronizing, or contemptuous behaviors or attitudes[/B]Here's a link to a good description of the diagnostic criteria and current thinking on treatment. When you get a chance, maybe you can look at it and see if it seems to fit? [URL]http://www.halcyon.com/jmashmun/npd/dsm-iv.html[/URL] I forget - are they making arrangements for her to have supervised visits with you [I]not[/I] being the supervisor? I can tell that you are just about on your last nerve, and I worry about the added stress of visits with her and her "[I]I'm[/I] his mom! [I]I[/I] get to make all of the decisions!" attitude will do to you. If you get respite, can that be the time he sees his mom? That way there is an independent witness as to her behaviors. My best wishes for your mom, and for you. I know this is a very difficult time. I'm sorry that your daughter is unable to pull it together. [/QUOTE]
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