Like many stories here, mine is long-winded and filled with pain. The thing that may be different is it is not my child, but my husband's. I have been married going on 21 years and there never has been a day where his needy, dysfunctional, emotionally disturbed, sociopathic, mini wife daughter didn't dominate our lives with her problems. When we began dating, I was 21 and my husband was divorced and 32 years old with a mentally unstable ex wife and daughter who inherited all of the mother's traits. Because she was only 4, I assumed we would naturally bond and be able to live like a family. God, was I ever wrong. I was never more wrong about anything in my entire life. Ignoring all the red flags, I married my husband when I was 23. Once I realized about 4 years into the marriage that things were out of control and I was in for a miserable marriage, I was already at a state of tremendous emotional suffering, I discovered I was pregnant myself. Up to that point it had been non-stop disagreements on how to raise her because she already had numerous behavior issues that were even disrupting school. We were already bouncing around multiple counselors, medical tests, etc. I was the firmer one who wanted structure and boundaries and my husband was the lenient one who could tolerate ALL of her behavior and seemed unaffected by her incessant demands and tantrums. Which she still does to this day, at age 26. The mother had a sad upbringing in orphanages and foster families where she had been abused. So from the get-go, the chaos had a tendency to be excused and tolerating all the abhorrent behavior from the mother and the daughter seemed to be what was happening. But the mother hit rock bottom, was hospitalized, went into treatment for addiction, blossomed in a halfway house and had been clean and sober, financially stable and remarried when my stepdaughter turned 10. After 6 years of sobriety, the mother was asking for her daughter back. Because the daughter caused such turmoil in our home and was so incredibly hostile to me, and I was already chronically suffering a painful homelife- and feared for my own child and wanted to shield him from her toxic personality, I suggested to my husband that maybe she would stop acting out if she filled the void with what she seemed upset about all this time, which was abandonment from her mother. It would make sense that if she was lashing out because of her mother, maybe finally having her mother as her main caretaker would ease her turmoil. My husband did not want her to go- but he allowed it. Well, at first it seemed ok but the daughter used the fact that he let her go there against him by making him feel guilty and accusing him of not wanting her. This angers me because when she lived with us, if she didn't get her way her threat was that she would go live with her mother if we didn't do what she said, even for small things like not letting her rent a horror movie that was inappropriate for her age. She quickly used threats against us and lashed out like a brat and wanted something all the time so she could create a battle of wills which she would then enjoy winning against me and my husband. She acted like she hated her life with us and now that we gave her what she wanted- her own mother- that wasn't good enough, either. And to be honest, it was better to get her away from me because she caused me so much stress and pressure I though I might explode and hurt her one day. I was never a spanker but I worried if I allowed myself to put my hands on her I may just wind up in jail for not being able to stop. She wanted that, though- because she taunted me and I knew she wanted me to self destruct and be out of their lives. With her mother, she began getting out of control and blackmailed the mother that if the mother clued us in on what she was doing, then she would tattle on the mother- whatever the mother should not be doing and make the mother look bad. The mother had a phobia about looking like a "bad mother" after her rocky past so the blackmailing worked. The mother was not strong enough to control the daughter- she lashed out at the stepfather, whipping a wooden brush at his head, refusing to go to bed when told, just being an obnoxious uncontrollable brat. Unknown to us, the mother began dabbling in drugs after the misery became too much- the daughter began seeing a thug drug dealer, everything was falling apart down there. We had her back here when she was 15 to live, but when my husband discovered her messages to local dangerous thugs in gangs, she cut the wires to her computer and left and went back to her mother's to be with the thug she liked over there. Before graduating from high school, she waited for the thug to get out of jail and got pregnant and dropped out right before graduation. She held a job for a short time, and has never worked another day. She is a pathological liar who swindled thousands of dollars to pay for her apartment only to lose the apartments (2) because the money went to drugs. She is now incarcerated and serving a burglary sentence and when she gets out, my husband is worried she will go right back to what she was doing because she will be homeless without her help. He thinks she has changed just because she is locked up and being forced into sobriety and structure. She is doing well in jail and got her GED- but that is because she cannot control jail the way she controls my husband. She never stopped berating my husband for marrying me- for my 40th birthday I told him to invite her and we would go to the beach and baordwalk, bring her son, we would all go out to dinner. She thanked me for that by demanding my husband do it all alone with just her, leaving me out and our son, and when he said no, she bombarded him with hate texts for the entire weekend while we were away. She was only a mile away but chose not to be part of it because she despises sharing her father (mini-wife). I cannot envision this person coming to live in my home after the chronic lying, incessant demanding, tantrums, entitlement issues- and the way my husband tolerates it all and seems mesmerized and pities her out of his endless pit of guilt. I just don't think I can, or want to, be part of it. Is there ANYWHERE she can go after jail? A halfway house will not tolerate her obnoxiousness but if she comes here, there are never consequences for her actions. My husband forgives it all and continues to pity her.