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Depressed daughter, we need advice.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 678274" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Cutting is addictive. I had a very close friend who cut and it took her years of therapy to quit. She had been abused very badly in her family of origin in every way possible so maybe it's why she had trouble quitting, but s he called it "addictive." Depression can be treated. It is one of the most treatable psychiatric problems that exists and is made worse if there is any drug use. </p><p></p><p>While I wouldn't exactly call it "tough love", I do think it is appropriate to insist Daughter gets help and tries hard in therapy and maybe takes m eds in order to keep her cell phone and other toys. She isn't helping herself. She has to be willing to be brave.</p><p></p><p>I was all alone when I first sought out treatment (I have a longstanding trial with moods and anxiety). My parents did not understand and were not particularly helpful. I was not allowed to come back to their house after I married, a lthough I was unhappy in the marriage. I think their forbidding me to come home was the right thing to do. I had to learn how to advocate for myself. I was suicidal at times. I did not cut, but was a mess in my 20's and early 30's and the medication trials were hard and took over a decade to work. But I didn't give up on me. I kept trying. I don't know if I would have done so if my parents had wlecomed me home, all worried about me, and done whatever I wanted because they were afraid I'd kill myself. As it turned out, I did have suicidal thoughts, but never tried to kill myself allndl dlidl not turn to recreational drugs f or relief. It was hard to do, but I am now able to easily advocate for my needs and now consider myself a pretty strong person.It takes longer than three weeks for psychiatric medications to kick in. More like 6-8 weeks. Three weeks is too soon. If one medication doesn't work, there are others that may. There is now a test you can take that genetically determines which medicine MAY work best for you. They didn't have that back in the day and it was trial and error. I have friends who took that medications test and, although a small amount of people, the ones I talked to said the test was useful to them.</p><p></p><p>Depression and cutting will not go away by giving grown child al free place to lie around with no incentive to get help. Laying around is very bad for depression, although it can be hard to get up. You just have to try.</p><p></p><p>I never think we help anything that is not terminal by babying our grown kids. If I had done that to my autistic son he wouldn't be independent and awesome. We gave him support services, but basically treated him as if he were just a regular kid. He is now twenty-two.</p><p></p><p>It's hard to think of the right thing to do. I wish you both all the best and more.</p><p></p><p>Hugs!!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 678274, member: 1550"] Cutting is addictive. I had a very close friend who cut and it took her years of therapy to quit. She had been abused very badly in her family of origin in every way possible so maybe it's why she had trouble quitting, but s he called it "addictive." Depression can be treated. It is one of the most treatable psychiatric problems that exists and is made worse if there is any drug use. While I wouldn't exactly call it "tough love", I do think it is appropriate to insist Daughter gets help and tries hard in therapy and maybe takes m eds in order to keep her cell phone and other toys. She isn't helping herself. She has to be willing to be brave. I was all alone when I first sought out treatment (I have a longstanding trial with moods and anxiety). My parents did not understand and were not particularly helpful. I was not allowed to come back to their house after I married, a lthough I was unhappy in the marriage. I think their forbidding me to come home was the right thing to do. I had to learn how to advocate for myself. I was suicidal at times. I did not cut, but was a mess in my 20's and early 30's and the medication trials were hard and took over a decade to work. But I didn't give up on me. I kept trying. I don't know if I would have done so if my parents had wlecomed me home, all worried about me, and done whatever I wanted because they were afraid I'd kill myself. As it turned out, I did have suicidal thoughts, but never tried to kill myself allndl dlidl not turn to recreational drugs f or relief. It was hard to do, but I am now able to easily advocate for my needs and now consider myself a pretty strong person.It takes longer than three weeks for psychiatric medications to kick in. More like 6-8 weeks. Three weeks is too soon. If one medication doesn't work, there are others that may. There is now a test you can take that genetically determines which medicine MAY work best for you. They didn't have that back in the day and it was trial and error. I have friends who took that medications test and, although a small amount of people, the ones I talked to said the test was useful to them. Depression and cutting will not go away by giving grown child al free place to lie around with no incentive to get help. Laying around is very bad for depression, although it can be hard to get up. You just have to try. I never think we help anything that is not terminal by babying our grown kids. If I had done that to my autistic son he wouldn't be independent and awesome. We gave him support services, but basically treated him as if he were just a regular kid. He is now twenty-two. It's hard to think of the right thing to do. I wish you both all the best and more. Hugs!!!! [/QUOTE]
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