1. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Lately I feel hopeless. I used to feel this way every once in awhile, but it passed and it was few and far between. I am also irritable, and angry sometimes. With all the changes I have made, they have both positive and negative sides, but it has been hard. What has hit me the most was difficult child trying cigarettes. If he tries this now , what will it be next? I just feel like there is no point. I have to go take an A & P test in 1 hr, and I just really don't care. This is not how I used to be. I have gotten good grades.

    I made an appointment to see a therapist on Monday, and I have not idea what to expect. Part of me feels like what's the point? I'll just sit there and whine and complain. What good will that do? The other part of me then tells the pessismist to shut up and go away. I just want to go to bed and cry.

    I wonder if I am depressed, but then part of me says who wouldn't be?

    Sorry to ramble and whine so much, I am not in a good space right now. Hope I posted in the right forum.
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    CM-You very well may be depressed. I think seeing a therapist is a good idea. I know for me it helps to talk and get it all out. Sending many gentle hugs your way.
  3. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    I agree with WO. Seeing a therapist is a very good idea. The stress of having a special needs child on top of living in a fast paced world can often be overwhelming. I know my therapist has really helped me to cope with difficult child issues.

    We have talked on this site about the B vitamins having the potential to help with depression. I know it has helped me.
    I take a B50 (kinda like a B multi) and it has really worked wonders.

    In addition, if you feel up to it at all, try to get in a little exercise. Ideally, a little walk outside in mornings for a few minutes. The movement and sunshine might do wonders.

    Whatever you can do to get a good nights rest or even a better night's rest might help. Try drinking warm milk before bed or sleepy time tea. Perhaps a low dosage of melatonin.

    Nurture yourself when you have a moment. Read your favorite magazines. Buy yourself flowers. Watch a good tV show. Take a bubble bath.

    These are things I have found that go along way toward healing depression...sort of a power boost as you and your therapist sort through the situation.

    Wishing you well.
  4. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    Sharon and Nomad have given you good words. It is good that you made a therapist appointment. It's a step in the right direction.

    Let us know how it goes on Monday. You are in the right place.

  5. Loving Abbey 2

    Loving Abbey 2 Not really a Newbie

    I've dealt with depression most of my life, and have learned that the sooner you get help the easier it is to rebound. There is help and it only works if you do it. Which is why it is so good that you are identifying this and reaching out for help. Hang in there, it will get better!!
  6. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Thanks, what concerns me is I still feel so blah, even today. Nothing seems to matter. I just feel like a failure. I will go to the appointment Monday, and hopefully it will help.
  7. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    How did the A&P test go??? That class is an @## kicker!! I still have night mares about Nuerotransmitters and calcium channel blockers... ugh.

    I am sorry you are feeling down. I agree with the talks and the vitamins. I am doing what Star suggested awhile ago, the mega-C and B doses. I think it has been helping with my other medications... Hey I tolerated mother in law in Tucson!!!

    I forget what the numbers were, I did a huge amount for a month or so and then cut it in half... I have my pill numbers down to 3 of the C and 2 of the B with my Multi... I forget what the exact numbers are... it is a lot of pills in the day...
  8. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Well, I went to see the therapist today. She decided, and I agree, that I have situational depression, it is appropriate, and if I come back is up to me. At this point I may go and see her when things get really rough, but I don't think I will set up visits ahead of time. I don't have the time or the money. difficult child starts therapy next week, and I am pretty sure psychiatrist will want to see him weekly or biweekly, so there's more to add to the budget.

    She did reccomend I take a day off a week for me every once in awhile, but that is just so hard. Right now we are struggling financially so I need to work as much as possible. what does not kill me will make me stronger, right?

    I am in a better frame of mind this week, I think that difficult child and his little smokinig episode just hit hard, I saw it as a precursor of what I have to look forward to as he gets older, and smoking will be mild. It is just so hard when the truth flies up and hits you in the face. Can't it at least knock first?:crazy1:
  9. Sara PA

    Sara PA New Member

    Let's see....you work full time, you go to school part time, your husband is in pain and unable to work and you have two kids, one a difficult child. And just for good measure, you're hypothyroid.

    Could it be you're just plain tired? Worn out?
  10. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    If you can't find one day a week, find a few minutes everyday.

    It sounds trivial, but it works. I had a rule for a while that from the time I got home from work until I changed out of my work clothes I was not to be disturbed barring excessive bleeding or loss of a limb. It was only 5 or 10 minutes. But, if I could have that uninterrupted time to go potty, change clothes and switch gears from working mode to mom mode it made a HUGE difference. If I didn't get that time, it really set the tone for the rest of the evening.

    You have demands on you all day at work, at school and at home with the kids. It's so important to have at least a few minutes a day with no demands.
  11. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Sara, and my stupid docs office never told me I needed my labs drawn, so I could not get my refill when I needed. I have not had my thyroid medication since last Wednesday. I will go pick it up today or tommorrow. They got a nice polite earfull. I did not want to blow as I have to deal with them in the future.
  12. Nomad

    Nomad Guest

    Goodness. Certainly going with-o your thyroid medications can make things much worse. I only have a mild underactive thryoid and I'm amazed how many problems this situation can cause for me. As a side note...sometimes if you have a really understanding pharmacist (one that you have been going to regularly) who sees that you've been taking a medication for a long time, etc...they'll give you a couple of tablets while you work out delays (getting bloodwork, prescriptions, etc.) However, they are trusting you to get it worked out during this time period. I had to do this just the other day with my blood pressure medication.