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Desperate--Advice on divorce and ...Update
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<blockquote data-quote="HereWeGoAgain" data-source="post: 48648" data-attributes="member: 3485"><p>I really feel for you and your son. I've been in his shoes myself. in my humble opinion he's getting good advice. I would just add: document <em>everything</em> -- keep a diary and note down every minute she is late picking up or dropping off, every call changing plans, how often she has left the baby with a sitter and for how long, etc., with times and dates. And stay squeaky clean himself, don't call any old flames, don't go out and leave jj with a sitter, and so on.</p><p></p><p>If he can get her to agree to joint custody the court will probably sign off on it. There are several factors that he can use as bargaining chips to persuade her to be reasonable: </p><p>- he is clearly the wronged party (even though divorce is no-fault);</p><p>- she put herself first while he dropped everything for the baby's sake; </p><p>- he has physical custody now; </p><p>- he has a good support network (you!); </p><p>- a full-blown custody fight will be horrendously expensive to her as well as to him.</p><p></p><p>Best of luck to your son, and my prayers go out to you both. He sounds like a very good man. I'm sure that eventually he will find happiness with a good woman. But I know the pain he's in now, and it is truly awful. There is a danger of bitterness setting in, to the baby's detriment; it was all I could do when the kids were with me not to run down their mother, but I managed.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HereWeGoAgain, post: 48648, member: 3485"] I really feel for you and your son. I've been in his shoes myself. in my humble opinion he's getting good advice. I would just add: document [i]everything[/i] -- keep a diary and note down every minute she is late picking up or dropping off, every call changing plans, how often she has left the baby with a sitter and for how long, etc., with times and dates. And stay squeaky clean himself, don't call any old flames, don't go out and leave jj with a sitter, and so on. If he can get her to agree to joint custody the court will probably sign off on it. There are several factors that he can use as bargaining chips to persuade her to be reasonable: - he is clearly the wronged party (even though divorce is no-fault); - she put herself first while he dropped everything for the baby's sake; - he has physical custody now; - he has a good support network (you!); - a full-blown custody fight will be horrendously expensive to her as well as to him. Best of luck to your son, and my prayers go out to you both. He sounds like a very good man. I'm sure that eventually he will find happiness with a good woman. But I know the pain he's in now, and it is truly awful. There is a danger of bitterness setting in, to the baby's detriment; it was all I could do when the kids were with me not to run down their mother, but I managed. [/QUOTE]
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