Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by family mum, Apr 22, 2012.
desperate! I'm shaking, please read " I don't know what to do"
I mean - I wish I knew what to do.
As I logged in today I was crying, eye twitching, hands shaking... your post couldn't help catch my eye. I know what my problem is I have accumulated a stress disorder from many years of dealing with difficult child's with no relief crew in site. I'm also gonna put a call in to my PCP tomorrow as usually the eye twitching is a sign my thyroid medication needs to be adjusted.
As soon as you can please try to get yourself in to see a doctor. Often parents of difficult child's are so preoccupied getting services for their kids they tend to ignore warning signals their own body is sending out. The added stress of raising a difficult child alone is enough to cause many medical problems to arise.
Since most doctors aren't available on Sunday and this doesn't sound like fits into criteria to warrant an emergency room (any chest pains etc. please go get checked now); I suggest you try to de-stress. Avoid large amounts of alcohol at times it can be useful but when that stressed it turns me into a crying puking mess. Can husband watch the kids while you take a bubble bath? I'm talking candles, soft music, a good book sit in there till you look like a prune bubble bath. Weeding the garden and smashing grubs can even be theraputic. Neighbors laugh when I put a pup tent in the back yard with a do not disturb sign or sit in my van with the windows rolled up blasting the music. Anyway we all come up with our little coping mechanisms but address the stress issues before they floor you. Like they say on an airplane put your own mask on first then help others, if you don't take care of yourself you won't be strong enough to care for difficult child.
difficult child keeps coming back to me to try to "poke the bear". husband is even more at his limit than I am! My psychologist appointment is for Thurs. Feels very far away at the moment.
Sorry I should have read your post from yesterday before putting in my 2 cents worth. Don't worry I tore myself a new one on your behalf. I essentially told someone who is in the middle of a three ring circus that has center ring on fire to go take a bubble bath! UGH if you have a GROWL HUFF SNORT for me I get it, I earned it.
I'm sorry and I understand; parenting was much easier when there was only one kid over here too. When the question of Residential Treatment Center (RTC) came up when Angel was 12yo I thought I was helping her (and all of us) by keeping her home; now looking back and seeing the wedge between her and her siblings and the way maintaining her stability has taken over my life I think it was the wrong decision.
I thought keeping the family together was top priority; but by keeping them together I pretty much busted the family up. Sure we are still under the same roof but everyone here has their own agenda, rarely interact the way a family should. If you and husband have hit your breaking point maybe its time to find a way to get a break, whether an Residential Treatment Center (RTC) or a family member who lives close enough for difficult child to get to school - something has to give.
When I read your post from yesterday after replying to todays post, I imagined you felt the same way I did years ago when I screamed at a therapist "I'm too busy squashing out brush fires to take a fire prevention class!". That's about what it comes down to - its hard to come up with strategy to avoid these situations when the situation is smacking you in the face non stop.
Again I apologize and please don't let my rambling stress you further.
I'm sorry family mum, your situation sounds pretty intense. This is not my area, just wanted you to know I read your posts and am sending you big hugs and lots of warm wishes that you find your way through this with your family intact. God bless you.
Separate names with a comma.