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General Parenting
desperately need advice....
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 43221" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I think you did exactly the right thing. You asked the caseworker's advice and you did what she said - don't remind them. basically, what caseworker has done is give the biofamily plenty of rope. It's caseworker's choice as to when to use that rope to hang their case with. And as you said, it meant difficult child was open in telling you. It's not up to difficult child whether she makes the decision to visit biomum, legally she's not able to make these decisions because she's under age. These decisions have been made for her, by the court and the system. Other adults in her life should do the responsible thing. Their failure to be responsible now shows up in start contrast.</p><p></p><p>Because you didn't run around like a chook with its head cut off, you now are in the driving seat, basically. You behaved sensibly, but also with caution and calm. Not everybody would do this - some would by now be making a HUGE noise and demanding action be taken. But instead, you have simply handed over the information to the person whose job it is to keep an eye on things.</p><p></p><p>I'm glad you talked to caseworker. All in all, I think this is good news, even the visit. It sounds like no harm was done but rules were broken and not by you. Those rules were going to get broken anyway. At least no harm resulted from that breach - this time. It makes it easier to prevent next time.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 43221, member: 1991"] I think you did exactly the right thing. You asked the caseworker's advice and you did what she said - don't remind them. basically, what caseworker has done is give the biofamily plenty of rope. It's caseworker's choice as to when to use that rope to hang their case with. And as you said, it meant difficult child was open in telling you. It's not up to difficult child whether she makes the decision to visit biomum, legally she's not able to make these decisions because she's under age. These decisions have been made for her, by the court and the system. Other adults in her life should do the responsible thing. Their failure to be responsible now shows up in start contrast. Because you didn't run around like a chook with its head cut off, you now are in the driving seat, basically. You behaved sensibly, but also with caution and calm. Not everybody would do this - some would by now be making a HUGE noise and demanding action be taken. But instead, you have simply handed over the information to the person whose job it is to keep an eye on things. I'm glad you talked to caseworker. All in all, I think this is good news, even the visit. It sounds like no harm was done but rules were broken and not by you. Those rules were going to get broken anyway. At least no harm resulted from that breach - this time. It makes it easier to prevent next time. Marg [/QUOTE]
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