Desperately Seeking Therapy for ODD

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by SIP, Aug 16, 2010.

  1. SIP

    SIP Guest

    I am new to this site and I'm looking for a Psychologist or therapist for my 9-year-old brother who has Oppositional Defiance Disorder. He lives with my mom and step-dad in San Diego, CA. Can anyone recommend a specialist (preferably in East County) who has experience treating this disorder? He's been on numerous medications, but he just can't cope with his anger, rage and frustration. The house is in complete disarray and my mom is under a tremendous amount of stress. I don't know how to help!
    They also recently lost their medical insurance, so it would be great to find someone who isn't too expensive.
    Thank you!
  2. slsh

    slsh member since 1999

    Hi SIP and welcome. I'm sorry your brother is struggling right now.

    We cannot give specific recommendations (doctors, hospitals, RTCs) on the open board but if you turn on your private messaging, maybe someone who is familiar with your geography could private message you some suggestions. Who diagnosed your brother, and did that person have any suggestions for therapists? Another resource might be your local Children's Hospital. It's been 15 years since we've lived in CA (Sacramento area) but at that time we found resources through the local county mental health agency that included psychiatrist and Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) services.

    Again, welcome!
  3. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Welcome, SIP.

    First - I applaud you for wanting to help. But keep in mind, you are not responsible for your brother, or for your mother. As long as you are helping,that's OK< but don't let any guilt creep in. It is very unhealthy for you now and in the future.

    Second - ODD is unlikely to be the main problem. It is highly likely there is an underlying disorder (such as ADHD, or any one of a number of possibilities) which need to be dealt with. Once they are being managed, then a lot of the OFD issues also are dealt with.

    Third - I am no help to you in finding a therapist. I'm not even in the same hemisphere as you. I'm not sure if it's even possible on this site to find you a therapist. But there will be ideas on how to find one. In the meantime, the best therapy is often from the home environment, so PLEASE read a book that many of us here have found to be useful - The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. Get it from the library, or Google it online. Trust me, there is stuff in this book that works. Get your mother to read it too, and your step-dad. Or you read it, and then explain it to them. While you wait to get him seen by someone, this can change lives. Therapists are useful, but not the magic answer. There is always more needing to be done at home. That book is like a handbook, a guide book on how to change YOUR behaviour toward your child, in order to help the child change for the better. It is not a cure, but it can help you find your way out of the darkness at least to where it's light enough to see the path.

    Keep in touch, let us know how it's going. There will be more along soon.

  4. SIP

    SIP Guest

    Thank you Marg & SLSH. My brother is currently taking medication for ADHD but his problems have continued. My parents have taken him to at least two different therapists who were suggested by his Pediatrician. My mom had complaints about both (one said that he should read the Bible). Therefore, I was hoping to find a referral from a parent who has dealt with this issue. I'll definitely read The Explosive Child and continue my search for a therapist in their area.
    Thanks Again!
  5. Allan-Matlem

    Allan-Matlem Active Member

    Try and get the latest editions of the explosive child, lost at school - by Ross Greene
    there is no magic bullet , I believe in family therapy , mentors, buddy-tutors for kids, education is a process
    Not easy - you can help by promoting your relationship with him , that he feels you understand him and will help him meet his needs.
    The first step for parents is to examine their relationship with the kid and their ability to chat and have general conversations , just connecting