Detach GRRR Detach

[JJJ]

We had our quarterly meeting about Kanga's mental health. Basically it comes down to the fact that she is not really working on her treatment. She jumps through the hoops to get her privileges. When she gets mad, she ignores the rules, does what she wants and then (eventually) "gets with the program" and within 2 weeks has all her privs back. She has clearly demonstrated that two weeks of reduced privs isn't enough to motivate her to follow the rules. She was on her two-weeks of "frozen privs" due to refusing to comply with staff about something stupid when she ran. She clearly though she'd have her privs back on Friday (which would be two weeks since they dragged her back home). She found out at the meeting that her treatment team decided that she has to do therapeutic activities with her therapist and until those activities are completed to the therapist's satisfaction, her privs remain frozen. Then when she is cleared to start getting privs back, she can only get 1 per week (so 3 weeks) and ONLY THEN can she earn back her off campus privs. She nearly lost it so they excused her from the rest of the meeting with multiple reminders not to blow up. So far no call that she attacked staff or ran (she may have blown up verbally as they don't call for that -- they only call for restraints and runs).

So, this time she could end up restricted to campus for 5+ weeks. It should be very interesting. I think the therapist is really starting to get how Kanga's game works and is going to do her best to throw a wrench in it and try to force her to actually engage in treatment.

 

[InsaneCdn]

{{hugs}}

 

[TeDo]

It took long enough. Glad they are FINALLY catching on completely and are willing to hold her accountable. She's very good at playing the game but as you've shared before, she can only hold on for so long. How did YOU feel after the meeting?

 

[JJJ]

It took long enough. Glad they are FINALLY catching on completely and are willing to hold her accountable. She's very good at playing the game but as you've shared before, she can only hold on for so long. How did YOU feel after the meeting?

Some are catching on. The school rep refused to fire her from her job ~ despite having told her the last time that if she missed work again, she'd be fired. She is currently suspended but will be allowed to earn her job back (a separate issue than earning her privs back). I threw a fit about that but she wouldn't budge.

After the meeting....mostly I was glad that she was there and I was here. lol

There are roughly 3.2 million children in our state; roughly 300 of them have mental illness severe enough to qualify for the grant; Kanga is considered one of the most mentally ill kids in our county. Always nice to be top in something, ugh.

 

[TeDo]

Wow! Either that school rep is a severely bleeding heart or completely ignorant. What did her staff say about it?

Always nice to be top in something

I guess that's one way to look at it. Good thing it's someone else's headache. (((HUGS)))

 

[InsaneCdn]

I think the therapist is really starting to get how Kanga's game works and is going to do her best to throw a wrench in it and try to force her to actually engage in treatment.

Would probably have been more useful to have gotten to this point... say, 2 or 3 years ago?
<sigh>

 

[JJJ]

TeDo -- this school rep is the principal/Special Education director/case manager all rolled into one, so her staff just does what she says; while they are 'owned' by the same non-profit, the "school" and the "home" are run independently and at least some of the home staff, including therapist, were also unhappy with her decision

InsaneCdn -- Kanga has only been at this Residential Treatment Center (RTC) for a year. Considering 1st Residential Treatment Center (RTC) took over a year before the first person even started to get a clue, I'm thrilled that even ONE person is on the reality train this time. therapist stated at the meeting that this is a critical situation as they only have 6 months to get Kanga to buy into the program so she doesn't leave treatment at 18, because she will need it until 21 and then adult services after that.

 

[AnnieO]

I hope, too, that she buys in... But... I can't hold my breath any more than you can. I wish I could wave a magic wand...

 

[busywend]

What a relief that someone finally GETS it!!! This is huge! I think it might call for a happy dance!!!!!

I laughed out loud with your 'just glad she was there and I was here' statement!

 

[rejectedmom]

Well there is some progress even if it took years. I often wish Tdocs and therapists could just listen to parents who have a good handle on their kids rather than having to figure things out all over again for themselves. So much time is wasted on repeating tasks and gathering information over and over again. I know why that is, I just wish it were different. As far as her job goes. it is bad that they made threats and didn't follow through but it is good that thatt part of her treatment will continue. Life lessons on work and the rewards of work are important especially for a difficult child. -RM

 

[Star*]

JJJ,

This sounds a lot like the same history we had with Dude. Everyone always seemed so PUZZLED as to how he could work so hard for the things he wanted and when it came to the things he needed he just had no care in the world, and I would sit there and just be gobsmacked at the logic of people with degrees and years, and years of education, because they never got the picture like Kangas school did. Maybe if they had? Even with us telling them - WELL that's kinda obvious isn't it? Dude would have done better.....sooner.

I am still holding Kanga in my heart and I will be forever optimistic about her advancements, and abilities. The one thing in this whole world that she has more than any other kid she knows is YOU. Her Mother loves her more than life itself. Doesn't have to like her sometimes, doesn't have to understand her most times......but love? Like nothing most women have ever seen because she's one of the absolute most difficult children ever. She's like an octopus child - with all eight arms pushing everyone away all the time. Dude was very very much like that. His behaviors were indescribable even for Board standards most days, and when I think of her, how she talks, behaves, thinks - reacts? It's a shadow of Dude - and he's doing a lot better personally than ANYONE - ANYONE ever thought he'd do. They all gave him NO hope. I think it's probably why no one calls us about him that ever worked with him. They figure they already know. They don't know him, and they don't know what Kanga is capable of doing either. I think this is progress. Hug her for me.

Hug yourself too - you're doing an AWESOME job Mom. AS USUAL.

 

[JJJ]

Star -- is Dude looking for a wife??? Kanga could do well with the good example he has become!

 

[InsaneCdn]

Ummm....

(pulling six-shooter off hip)

JJJ? better back off.
No way Dude needs a Kanga messing with his brain right now. Or ever.

<wink>

 

[Star*]

Kanga and Dude huh?

Have to mull that one over for a while. It would be interesting to say the least. But he's got a little girl that's going to have his baby girl in July. He can't wait. And she takes (ZERO) of his ****. THAT's amazing.

 

[Star*]

Hey I didn't say the poopie word that starts with S - I said the poo word that starts with c - like snap but cr.....and it still got blottoed. hahahah. Leaves a little to the imagination like OHHHHHHHHHH Star said a bad word.....well no she didn't. She said RAP with a c in front of it. Or Cra with a P behind it. But really CRA isn't a word, so I'll have to go with RAP with a C in front of it won't I? hahah. ahem.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Star,
I learned that the bot-editors around here are not very smart, when somebody else posted about their ****zu pup.
Got that?
Any time you really have to use those words, it's a c r a p shoot. Notice how I got away with it?
Same with s h i t z u puppies.

Just "spell it out" and you don't get zapped.

 

[Star*]

Thanks Insane......Now I have a license to swear. (moderators are all going) THANKS a,,,,,,,,,,,,H E C K of a lot INSANE - ............hahaha.

Bugger - no little smiley face for can of worms.......hahaha.

 

[InsaneCdn]

Hey - don't get extreme with this, though... or "they" will have to get smarter bot-editors... and we'll be back to square one!

 

[DammitJanet]

its because shihtzu puppies are spelled with an H in front of the T LOL