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Parent Emeritus
Detachment is not that you should own nothing; it's that nothing should own you.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 639645" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Cedar, in all honesty, I've never heard of a kid who expected his parents to sell him his house. That is so far out there it's not in touch with reality. He is expecting more than even most difficult children...lol. I hope you see how magical his thinking is. "If you don't let me buy your house on my terms (which may be he never pays for it), you don't love me, you're a lousy mother, and on top of that you're SELFISH." I don't know if he said those things, but it is just mindboggling.</p><p></p><p>I think we need to give ourselves maybe five minutes of hard thinking time each night about what our difficult children say so that we can analyze the realism, or lack thereof, of their thinking. Maybe that would help. A house, huh? Why not a Mercedes? The grandkids need a safe car to ride in (good way to use the grandkids) and if you love him you'll get him a safe, expensive, prestigious car. And why not buy his wardrobe for him because he can't possibly get a high level job without name brand clothing, right? If you loved him, you'd do it. I hope you are not offended by this. I didn't mean it to mean your son would actually ask for all this. But most of our difficult children do expect an awful lot from us that are not in the realm of realism.</p><p></p><p>Did you ever ask your parents to give you their house??</p><p></p><p>Any one of our difficult children can and do make outrageous demands and tell us we are mean mommy (the MOMMY rather than mother is on purpose) if we dont' do it. They revert often to very young status when they wanted that toy in the store and you humored them and bought it and then they thought you were a nice mommy. But if you said no....whoa baby!!!! Tantrum time and you were the meanest mommy in the world!</p><p></p><p>They still think of us as "mommy."</p><p></p><p>Hope you got the message and, again, I did not mean to offend!!! My son is no peach.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 639645, member: 1550"] Cedar, in all honesty, I've never heard of a kid who expected his parents to sell him his house. That is so far out there it's not in touch with reality. He is expecting more than even most difficult children...lol. I hope you see how magical his thinking is. "If you don't let me buy your house on my terms (which may be he never pays for it), you don't love me, you're a lousy mother, and on top of that you're SELFISH." I don't know if he said those things, but it is just mindboggling. I think we need to give ourselves maybe five minutes of hard thinking time each night about what our difficult children say so that we can analyze the realism, or lack thereof, of their thinking. Maybe that would help. A house, huh? Why not a Mercedes? The grandkids need a safe car to ride in (good way to use the grandkids) and if you love him you'll get him a safe, expensive, prestigious car. And why not buy his wardrobe for him because he can't possibly get a high level job without name brand clothing, right? If you loved him, you'd do it. I hope you are not offended by this. I didn't mean it to mean your son would actually ask for all this. But most of our difficult children do expect an awful lot from us that are not in the realm of realism. Did you ever ask your parents to give you their house?? Any one of our difficult children can and do make outrageous demands and tell us we are mean mommy (the MOMMY rather than mother is on purpose) if we dont' do it. They revert often to very young status when they wanted that toy in the store and you humored them and bought it and then they thought you were a nice mommy. But if you said no....whoa baby!!!! Tantrum time and you were the meanest mommy in the world! They still think of us as "mommy." Hope you got the message and, again, I did not mean to offend!!! My son is no peach. [/QUOTE]
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