Estherfromjerusalem
Well-Known Member
My difficult child has been in Australia for about 3 months. He has tried this work, and he has tried that work, and it isn't going well. I know that over the internet he has taken out a loan from his bank account. Dammit! I was so hoping that he would really love doing his own thing. I so controlled myself all through the time leading up to his going away. I really wanted to shout out "Hurrah! he's going. Go already, go now!" But I went through the motions, and I lied through my teeth and am still doing it. I speak to him on Facebook and I write to him that I miss him. On Skype we chat. And on the phone, I tell him I love him, and that I miss him. Well, I'm lying! I DO NOT MISS HIM. Life in our household is just glorious without him here. Every evening when we lock up the doors (even quite late sometimes), we know that that's it, no one is going to come in, talking very loud, slamming doors and faffing around in the kitchen. No, it is peaceful. I can get on with my work and concentrate. I can leave the computer, and come back to it an hour or two later and it is as I left it. No one has "by accident" deleted any of my work. I'm not handing out bits (quite large bits) of cash money as loans which are conveniently forgotten to be repaid. There is hardly any shouting (only when I lose my temper with my husband!). The whole extended family is calmer.
Two days ago he told my husband on the phone that he is giving this new job (selling Dead Sea beauty products from a trolley in the mall) one more week, and if he's not successful, he will probably come home.
And there I was, all detached.
Oh well. He is 24 years old. I can't grumble, when I read other people's postings here. And as the years go by, he IS improving. He has held down a job here for 18 months, selling motorbikes and being a really successful salesman. He does have friends. He has had a steady girlfriend in the past, although now he hasn't.
I hope he is successful and doesn't come back, for my sake and also for his sake, for his self-respect. He wanted to be away for a year. I truly wish him every success, because I know that if he succeeds, he will feel so much better about himself. But you know, these difficult children have a sort of self-destruct mechanism built in.
Oh and by the way, when he left he told me that when he comes back, he will want to live at home!! No comment!
I just re-read what I have written -- I apologise for the vent. That is the first time I have put into words how I feel about the possibility of his return.
Love, Esther
Two days ago he told my husband on the phone that he is giving this new job (selling Dead Sea beauty products from a trolley in the mall) one more week, and if he's not successful, he will probably come home.
And there I was, all detached.
Oh well. He is 24 years old. I can't grumble, when I read other people's postings here. And as the years go by, he IS improving. He has held down a job here for 18 months, selling motorbikes and being a really successful salesman. He does have friends. He has had a steady girlfriend in the past, although now he hasn't.
I hope he is successful and doesn't come back, for my sake and also for his sake, for his self-respect. He wanted to be away for a year. I truly wish him every success, because I know that if he succeeds, he will feel so much better about himself. But you know, these difficult children have a sort of self-destruct mechanism built in.
Oh and by the way, when he left he told me that when he comes back, he will want to live at home!! No comment!
I just re-read what I have written -- I apologise for the vent. That is the first time I have put into words how I feel about the possibility of his return.
Love, Esther
