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Detachment or flat out mean?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 506855" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>DDD, I can see both sides of this. If he was cheating once in a while, and then was dealing iwth the aftereffects, I would be likely to help. It sounds like he is doing a LOT more than just cheating on an eating plan. That is why I would not help. There is a big difference between an occasional cheat/indulgence and flat out ignoring the medical treatment that will keep you out of pain and healthy.</p><p></p><p>I have had chronic muscle/bone/connective tissue/nerve problems most of my life. Some activities result in pain that was incredible. I had to learn to moderate my activities so that I could minimize the pain and not miss out on everything. I love horses. Always wanted one. After the health koi started, I had to make tough choices. I could choose to go ride for a few hours (when I could afford it - we never owned a horse) but I knew up front that I would spend 1-3 days in vastly increased pain. I timed the riding so that I could rest, do PT, and deal with the pain - but I still had to make sure my chores, school/homework was done, and I still had to go to work. No one could learn that lesson for me. My parents could have just not let me go riding or whatever, but they allowed me to choose and to feel the pain that resulted. they didn't excuse my chores,e tc..... because I made a CHOICE to do what caused the pain. </p><p></p><p>in my opinion you need to let him experience the entire range of consequences for his choice without paying for the dr or medications or whatever. It will ONLY be when he does those thing that he figures out how to make informed choices.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 506855, member: 1233"] DDD, I can see both sides of this. If he was cheating once in a while, and then was dealing iwth the aftereffects, I would be likely to help. It sounds like he is doing a LOT more than just cheating on an eating plan. That is why I would not help. There is a big difference between an occasional cheat/indulgence and flat out ignoring the medical treatment that will keep you out of pain and healthy. I have had chronic muscle/bone/connective tissue/nerve problems most of my life. Some activities result in pain that was incredible. I had to learn to moderate my activities so that I could minimize the pain and not miss out on everything. I love horses. Always wanted one. After the health koi started, I had to make tough choices. I could choose to go ride for a few hours (when I could afford it - we never owned a horse) but I knew up front that I would spend 1-3 days in vastly increased pain. I timed the riding so that I could rest, do PT, and deal with the pain - but I still had to make sure my chores, school/homework was done, and I still had to go to work. No one could learn that lesson for me. My parents could have just not let me go riding or whatever, but they allowed me to choose and to feel the pain that resulted. they didn't excuse my chores,e tc..... because I made a CHOICE to do what caused the pain. in my opinion you need to let him experience the entire range of consequences for his choice without paying for the dr or medications or whatever. It will ONLY be when he does those thing that he figures out how to make informed choices. [/QUOTE]
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