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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 615968" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Detachment from child who is a minor (and very young, like in your case) is very problematic. Young child needs attachment to develop emotionally and morally. If parent is detached and child doesn't have any other adult to have an attached relationship, it very likely does cause a child serious emotional and psychological damage. It also makes a child very vulnerable to any adult outside home who offers attachment.</p><p></p><p>And if you consider how detachment is done with adult children, it simply doesn't work with a minor child you are responsible with. If one does things recommended when trying to detach from adult child to minor child, it is called neglect.</p><p></p><p>However, I do very well understand the feeling. But I would call it burning out. It does cause feelings of detachment, cynical attitude and things like that in early state. Those are usually the first warning signs of the burn out. You may want to check out some information about that and get yourself some support, if you feel like that could be happening to you. Parenting a challenging child is a straining job, getting burn our is a real threat.</p><p></p><p>During the most difficult times with my son, when he was still a child, I did compartmentalized a lot. I actually made sure I used some time every day to think warm and fuzzy thoughts of my son. I did go to his room when he was sleeping or listened behind his door and tried to find those loving feelings I did have for him from the day he was born. Tried to see him as a small child needing his mommy, which he actually was, and not just that absolutely maddening and slyly oppositional and backstabbing person he was when awake. I tried to detach myself emotionally from his behaviours, but not from him. Tried to see him as my dear child, who was having these behavioural problems and tried to see his behaviours like symptoms and not 'a real him.' I did try to intellectualised my reactions to his behaviours and detach from my emotions those behaviours caused. Some of it did help.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 615968, member: 14557"] Detachment from child who is a minor (and very young, like in your case) is very problematic. Young child needs attachment to develop emotionally and morally. If parent is detached and child doesn't have any other adult to have an attached relationship, it very likely does cause a child serious emotional and psychological damage. It also makes a child very vulnerable to any adult outside home who offers attachment. And if you consider how detachment is done with adult children, it simply doesn't work with a minor child you are responsible with. If one does things recommended when trying to detach from adult child to minor child, it is called neglect. However, I do very well understand the feeling. But I would call it burning out. It does cause feelings of detachment, cynical attitude and things like that in early state. Those are usually the first warning signs of the burn out. You may want to check out some information about that and get yourself some support, if you feel like that could be happening to you. Parenting a challenging child is a straining job, getting burn our is a real threat. During the most difficult times with my son, when he was still a child, I did compartmentalized a lot. I actually made sure I used some time every day to think warm and fuzzy thoughts of my son. I did go to his room when he was sleeping or listened behind his door and tried to find those loving feelings I did have for him from the day he was born. Tried to see him as a small child needing his mommy, which he actually was, and not just that absolutely maddening and slyly oppositional and backstabbing person he was when awake. I tried to detach myself emotionally from his behaviours, but not from him. Tried to see him as my dear child, who was having these behavioural problems and tried to see his behaviours like symptoms and not 'a real him.' I did try to intellectualised my reactions to his behaviours and detach from my emotions those behaviours caused. Some of it did help. [/QUOTE]
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