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<blockquote data-quote="bran155" data-source="post: 234446"><p>I can relate big time. I am in the process of detaching now. I have come a long way. Just a few months ago I was a total mess. I was so involved with my daughter's chaos and trying to "fix" her that I lost myself. My only identity was her mother. Her and I were one. I walked through life in a fog. I was not living, just barely existing. I went through the motions but felt empty all of the time. I lived in darkness and despair. It was so not fair to my other family members. Most of all it was not fair to my son. Don't get me wrong, I did things with him, did the parties at school, pta, bowling, movies, reading, all of it. My body was there but I was a shell of myself. I wasn't really enjoying anything, I was too busy being suffocated by my addiction to my daughter. Every waking moment was hell. It was ridiculous. I had had enough. I began to live again. I am now able to enjoy happy moments. I have begun to rebuild myself, gain strength and see the sun agin. It is a process and very hard to do. But worth it.</p><p></p><p>The key for me is acceptance. I had to accept my daughter's choices for what they were, her choices. I know that I have done everything humanly possible to help her. There simply is nothing left that I can do. I will be here for her and help her as much as I can. When she is ready. When she wants it. I will no longer dedicate my entire life to her. We can only do so much. We can only take so much. At some point they have to step up and take responsibility for themselves. When she does that I will go to the ends of the earth for her. In the meantime I will continue to breath!!!</p><p></p><p> I often think of something that Marg posted to me once. She said that we must divide ourselves like a pie chart. Everyone, including us, deserves a piece of that pie. We can only allocate a certain amount of our energy to each part of our life. And I really do refer to that chart daily to remind myself that everyone in my family matters. Not just difficult child. THANK YOU MARG!!!</p><p></p><p>Hang in there. It does get easier.</p><p></p><p>Shawna <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="bran155, post: 234446"] I can relate big time. I am in the process of detaching now. I have come a long way. Just a few months ago I was a total mess. I was so involved with my daughter's chaos and trying to "fix" her that I lost myself. My only identity was her mother. Her and I were one. I walked through life in a fog. I was not living, just barely existing. I went through the motions but felt empty all of the time. I lived in darkness and despair. It was so not fair to my other family members. Most of all it was not fair to my son. Don't get me wrong, I did things with him, did the parties at school, pta, bowling, movies, reading, all of it. My body was there but I was a shell of myself. I wasn't really enjoying anything, I was too busy being suffocated by my addiction to my daughter. Every waking moment was hell. It was ridiculous. I had had enough. I began to live again. I am now able to enjoy happy moments. I have begun to rebuild myself, gain strength and see the sun agin. It is a process and very hard to do. But worth it. The key for me is acceptance. I had to accept my daughter's choices for what they were, her choices. I know that I have done everything humanly possible to help her. There simply is nothing left that I can do. I will be here for her and help her as much as I can. When she is ready. When she wants it. I will no longer dedicate my entire life to her. We can only do so much. We can only take so much. At some point they have to step up and take responsibility for themselves. When she does that I will go to the ends of the earth for her. In the meantime I will continue to breath!!! I often think of something that Marg posted to me once. She said that we must divide ourselves like a pie chart. Everyone, including us, deserves a piece of that pie. We can only allocate a certain amount of our energy to each part of our life. And I really do refer to that chart daily to remind myself that everyone in my family matters. Not just difficult child. THANK YOU MARG!!! Hang in there. It does get easier. Shawna :) [/QUOTE]
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