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Substance Abuse
Detecting a sense of quiet resignation among many of us...
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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 550370"><p>Sauder- I was in your shoes a year ago. And it took me a long time to stop crying every day. It was so hard to put on a happy face and try to fake through social occasions - even just dinner out with H. More than once, I looked at my husband and said "we need to go home NOW" and we did. It took me a few months to even begin to cope and it took me a year (this week!) to realize that this was not going to be a short term thing. I had assumed he would leave and that the situation would reach a climax - getting better or worse - in short order. It didn't and it hasn't. I raced to research treatment facilities, homeless shelters, defense attorneys, bus schedules etc - certain that I would need them and I haven't. Not to say we haven't had our bumps - both dismal and hopeful - along the way. There were many times that other posters' kids were begging for attention (negative and positive) and I was JEALOUS because my son had not (and never did) reach out to me.</p><p></p><p>So -- it will be unpredictable. Dare I say, you will get used to it. I think I must have posted 20 times in those first weeks re-iterating that I was looking for advice as to "What to do NEXT" and looking for a crystal ball to tell me when he would come to his senses and return to being a easy child. I wanted to shout that "My kid WILL BE DIFFERENT" - but of course - he wasn't. Everyone was very gentle and it finally sunk in that there is no pattern, no magic solution, nothing to do or say that will fix it. </p><p> </p><p>So, I hope you will stick around. Know that we get it and we care and we will be here for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 550370"] Sauder- I was in your shoes a year ago. And it took me a long time to stop crying every day. It was so hard to put on a happy face and try to fake through social occasions - even just dinner out with H. More than once, I looked at my husband and said "we need to go home NOW" and we did. It took me a few months to even begin to cope and it took me a year (this week!) to realize that this was not going to be a short term thing. I had assumed he would leave and that the situation would reach a climax - getting better or worse - in short order. It didn't and it hasn't. I raced to research treatment facilities, homeless shelters, defense attorneys, bus schedules etc - certain that I would need them and I haven't. Not to say we haven't had our bumps - both dismal and hopeful - along the way. There were many times that other posters' kids were begging for attention (negative and positive) and I was JEALOUS because my son had not (and never did) reach out to me. So -- it will be unpredictable. Dare I say, you will get used to it. I think I must have posted 20 times in those first weeks re-iterating that I was looking for advice as to "What to do NEXT" and looking for a crystal ball to tell me when he would come to his senses and return to being a easy child. I wanted to shout that "My kid WILL BE DIFFERENT" - but of course - he wasn't. Everyone was very gentle and it finally sunk in that there is no pattern, no magic solution, nothing to do or say that will fix it. So, I hope you will stick around. Know that we get it and we care and we will be here for you. [/QUOTE]
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Detecting a sense of quiet resignation among many of us...
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