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<blockquote data-quote="Shari" data-source="post: 327697" data-attributes="member: 1848"><p>I learned with difficult child 1 to ditch the whole "year's old" thing. It bit me in the butt to try to let him do something because he was "old enuf". He wasn't.</p><p> </p><p>We talk about everything on the grounds of "show me you can handle it..." instead of "you can have it when you're XX".</p><p> </p><p>Licenses were earned; you didn't just get one at 16. Cell phones? Same thing. Show me a need, and show me you are responsible. Show me you can abide by time limits on the computer and tv without being monitored and told. Show me you can surf appropriate internet sites without having a net nanny to keep you out of the bad ones, etc.</p><p> </p><p>A couple of years ago, when husband got a puppy, wee helped in the day to day care of the puppy, including cleaning up after it, feeding and watering it, etc, even when the "new" wore off, where as easy child wasn't about to touch doggie doo, even when the pup was brand new. If the dog made a mess, wee would clean it up if he saw it. easy child would pretend she didn't see it. Still does. Wee feeds and waters both dogs about half the time without being told, and almost never argues if he's asked. He feeds the cats every morning (too much, actually, the cat knows to ask him for food...) So a year or so ago when he asked for a dog and his therapist was recommending one, we said sure, he'd already demonstrated he would take care of it. Does he take care of the dog every single day all by himself without ever a reminder? No. But he was just 6 when he got the dog and I knew that. He does do a darned good job for his age, tho.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Shari, post: 327697, member: 1848"] I learned with difficult child 1 to ditch the whole "year's old" thing. It bit me in the butt to try to let him do something because he was "old enuf". He wasn't. We talk about everything on the grounds of "show me you can handle it..." instead of "you can have it when you're XX". Licenses were earned; you didn't just get one at 16. Cell phones? Same thing. Show me a need, and show me you are responsible. Show me you can abide by time limits on the computer and tv without being monitored and told. Show me you can surf appropriate internet sites without having a net nanny to keep you out of the bad ones, etc. A couple of years ago, when husband got a puppy, wee helped in the day to day care of the puppy, including cleaning up after it, feeding and watering it, etc, even when the "new" wore off, where as easy child wasn't about to touch doggie doo, even when the pup was brand new. If the dog made a mess, wee would clean it up if he saw it. easy child would pretend she didn't see it. Still does. Wee feeds and waters both dogs about half the time without being told, and almost never argues if he's asked. He feeds the cats every morning (too much, actually, the cat knows to ask him for food...) So a year or so ago when he asked for a dog and his therapist was recommending one, we said sure, he'd already demonstrated he would take care of it. Does he take care of the dog every single day all by himself without ever a reminder? No. But he was just 6 when he got the dog and I knew that. He does do a darned good job for his age, tho. [/QUOTE]
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