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DHS wants to send my difficult child away
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<blockquote data-quote="OpenWindow" data-source="post: 183564" data-attributes="member: 45"><p>Thanks to everyone for your responses - you all are helping me think a lot more clearly.</p><p></p><p>Thanks for the links Beth. I am checking them out. I had a neuropsychologist set for this July and they called to do the pre-interview and decided he didn't need one, and referred me to an autism specialist. I have to wait 8 months to get in - I'm on the cancellation list but apparently that list is very long, too, and they said no one cancels.</p><p></p><p>Thanks KLMNO, I'll PM you about the info. I didn't report him, the counselor did. We told the counselor knowing she may have had to report it. </p><p></p><p>gvcmom, the state police interviewed me, my daughter (who wouldn't say anything and when she pointed to the drawing, she lied) and my easy child son. The sherriff's office interviewed my difficult child and tried to interview my daughter, but she didn't say a word. DHS came out once and talked to me. I don't understand why they haven't talked to the counselor, and neither does she. They called and left a message with her once, and she called and left a message. They never called her back. I told the caseworker what the counselor said, and the caseworker said she would be talking to the counselor.</p><p></p><p>Linda - the caseworker actually sounds like an older lady, not young at all. I finally found the place online (the caseworker was close but had the name wrong) and it's for child and adolescent sexual offenders. My counselor is out of town until tomorrow so I will ask her if she knows anything about the place - but she told me early on that most of the residential facilities they would send him are not the best places to go. In addition to separation anxiety and him feeling like we abandoned him, he mimics behaviors of those around him, especially bad behaviors.</p><p></p><p>husband did OK - I could tell he was angry but he kept control, and he didn't direct his anger towards me. Hopefully, he'll be able to be calm when the DHS caseworker comes on Monday.</p><p></p><p>bran - it's a treatment center for child and adolescent sex offenders. </p><p></p><p>Midwest Mom - thank you for sharing your experience - I know we don't really agree on some of the details but it means a lot that you're willing to share what you know to help me. We have started counseling for both kids in the hopes of finding out if there is more to the story or not. We were expecting a FINS and mandatory counseling, but instead they are suggesting exactly what everyone who actually knows difficult child says would be the worst for him. </p><p></p><p>I understand that they have to protect the victim, that's been number one on my mind since the day it happened. We're doing that. She seems very secure and not afraid. She's getting counseling to make sure what we are seeing is correct. If I thought for a second that she couldn't get over this and that difficult child being out of the house would help her overcome her feelings from what happened, it would be a no-brainer. But I don't think that's the case and neither does the counselor at this point. I know that could change and we could find out a lot in the next few months, and I'm preparing myself for that.</p><p></p><p>Thanks again, everyone.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="OpenWindow, post: 183564, member: 45"] Thanks to everyone for your responses - you all are helping me think a lot more clearly. Thanks for the links Beth. I am checking them out. I had a neuropsychologist set for this July and they called to do the pre-interview and decided he didn't need one, and referred me to an autism specialist. I have to wait 8 months to get in - I'm on the cancellation list but apparently that list is very long, too, and they said no one cancels. Thanks KLMNO, I'll PM you about the info. I didn't report him, the counselor did. We told the counselor knowing she may have had to report it. gvcmom, the state police interviewed me, my daughter (who wouldn't say anything and when she pointed to the drawing, she lied) and my easy child son. The sherriff's office interviewed my difficult child and tried to interview my daughter, but she didn't say a word. DHS came out once and talked to me. I don't understand why they haven't talked to the counselor, and neither does she. They called and left a message with her once, and she called and left a message. They never called her back. I told the caseworker what the counselor said, and the caseworker said she would be talking to the counselor. Linda - the caseworker actually sounds like an older lady, not young at all. I finally found the place online (the caseworker was close but had the name wrong) and it's for child and adolescent sexual offenders. My counselor is out of town until tomorrow so I will ask her if she knows anything about the place - but she told me early on that most of the residential facilities they would send him are not the best places to go. In addition to separation anxiety and him feeling like we abandoned him, he mimics behaviors of those around him, especially bad behaviors. husband did OK - I could tell he was angry but he kept control, and he didn't direct his anger towards me. Hopefully, he'll be able to be calm when the DHS caseworker comes on Monday. bran - it's a treatment center for child and adolescent sex offenders. Midwest Mom - thank you for sharing your experience - I know we don't really agree on some of the details but it means a lot that you're willing to share what you know to help me. We have started counseling for both kids in the hopes of finding out if there is more to the story or not. We were expecting a FINS and mandatory counseling, but instead they are suggesting exactly what everyone who actually knows difficult child says would be the worst for him. I understand that they have to protect the victim, that's been number one on my mind since the day it happened. We're doing that. She seems very secure and not afraid. She's getting counseling to make sure what we are seeing is correct. If I thought for a second that she couldn't get over this and that difficult child being out of the house would help her overcome her feelings from what happened, it would be a no-brainer. But I don't think that's the case and neither does the counselor at this point. I know that could change and we could find out a lot in the next few months, and I'm preparing myself for that. Thanks again, everyone. [/QUOTE]
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