SuZir
Well-Known Member
After reading both this forum, magazines with stories about parents of addicts and even participating some support groups and visiting also local support websites I have started to wonder, how often it is so, that addiction makes a kid difficult child and how often difficult child just becomes addicted in addition of all the other problems. Especially in magazines the common story tends to be, that drugs/alcohol/gambling stole my perfect child/husband/etc. and they turned to someone loved ones can't recognize. Same idea comes through in many support sites, literature and groups. It's addiction talking, addicts are this or that, addicts always this and that, addiction overrides everything. I'm sure there is a lot of truth in that, but in some ways it does not correlate very much with my personal experiences. Not much with other addicts, not with my son.
My difficult child, while still not diagnosed with anything but pathological gambling, has been difficult child all his life. He has been difficult child from the very first days of his life and he is difficult young adult now in his late teens even with being in good recover from his addiction. While addiction escalated things and made him really break some boundaries he likely would never had broken otherwise, I can't really say, that he would have changed to other person. And I don't hold much hope that he will ever turn into untroubled individual. He may turn high functioning individual in many aspects, but I think he will have many struggles through rest of his life. That is why I have struggled with the support often available for loved ones of an addict. It seems so addiction focused and everything is seen through addiction, even if the issue pre- and post-dates active addiction.
How do you feel about this? And do you believe it even matters?
My difficult child, while still not diagnosed with anything but pathological gambling, has been difficult child all his life. He has been difficult child from the very first days of his life and he is difficult young adult now in his late teens even with being in good recover from his addiction. While addiction escalated things and made him really break some boundaries he likely would never had broken otherwise, I can't really say, that he would have changed to other person. And I don't hold much hope that he will ever turn into untroubled individual. He may turn high functioning individual in many aspects, but I think he will have many struggles through rest of his life. That is why I have struggled with the support often available for loved ones of an addict. It seems so addiction focused and everything is seen through addiction, even if the issue pre- and post-dates active addiction.
How do you feel about this? And do you believe it even matters?
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