I think many of us have felt or thought that people were blaming us for our kids problems. I am going to go out on a limb here and bet that probably what they are suggesting is that your son go into a treatment foster home because he isnt safe to go back into your home but they want him close enough so that your whole family can get therapy and treatment.
Really, when you have a child as ill as your son is, the whole family is in need of treatment. He had to have an effect on your other kids. It had to have been scary to them. You need to learn different ways to parent him. Not that the way you parent is wrong, but he needs different methods than the way you parent everyone else. Just the way it goes. He needs to learn new skills too. He needs to be away from home while he does this and while they make sure all his new medications work.
It is really hard. I know it. I went through it too.
It will get better.
Hugs.