Did I Call It or What?

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Sep 19, 2010.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    K messaged me tonite. They're coming with or without a shelter holding a spot for them. She plans to arrive in 6-8 wks depending on how long it takes birth certificates to arrive to her.

    (well she listened about something anyway) :tongue:

    The Plan:

    They will purchase tickets to Cincy on the night bus as it's a lot cheaper way to travel. They will stay in a motel until they can get into the shelter. Her bio Mom will either stay in St Louis or return to Springfield, she will not be joining them.

    Never Ever Mistrust A Mother's Instinct

    In my response I didn't offer a place to stay until she could be placed in the shelter. I didn't ask how she planned to get from Cincy to us (an hour away), nor did I volunteer to drive to Cincy to pick them up. I left that open for now.

    I knew this was coming 2 yrs ago when she 1st got back into contact. Perhaps she planned it then, or maybe it was just a subconscious thing on her part.....but ME I knew it.

    So this is no surprise. I've been planning and thinking on it for a very long time. And once she took the plunge to St Louis......I kicked the planning/thinking into high gear because I knew the next move was here.

    The girls and I have discussed this a lot. At least we've had time to do that. And our plan is firmly in place. And Nichole is moving away to Dayton in about 2 wks......which takes our "weakest" link pretty much out of the picture. Nichole can be hard nosed, determined, stubborn ect, but she has a heart of purest gold and family is everything to her. So will be a good thing she won't be right here during the vulnerable settling in period. But both girls have been coached that if they aren't cautious how they help, they can prevent K from ever learning to stand on her own 2 feet.

    If they arrive in the condition they did 10 yrs ago (OMG same time of year too weird music insert here) they will be in pathetic shape. We've picked a few nice but cheap outfits from yard sales and got their winter coats the same way. Only for the kids. K and her husband can go to the free clothes pantry and find something to wear. Kayla and Alex will have to go to school and shouldn't have to be humiliated by having to wear what they'll probably show up wearing.

    So there it is. Of course her husband is coming along because either K is too d*mn scared of the man to get rid of him or just too stupid/difficult child to realize what a loser she's been clinging to since she was 14.

    K is a major difficult child. But deep down she's always had a strong longing for family. We are her only family outside of her biomom. So I guess it's natural for her to want to come to where her family is. I think she' sick of being totally alone in the world.

    As I said before, I'm not expecting any change in her behavior/his behavior. Maybe they think it will be a repeat of last time when every govt agency in the county bent over backward to help K become independent. If so, they're in for a surprise. Times have changed. They can receive tons of help, but only if they are willing to work hard for it.

    So my plans? Simple. I plan to enjoy my grandkids I haven't seen since they were toddlers. I plan to "pass it forward" what others did for me as a child. I plan to do little things to make their lives just a bit better, I plan to show them unwavering love and affection to let them know they are valued and wanted. Who knows? Maybe having a grandmother that graduated nursing school.......and aunts and an uncle who worked their fannies off will be enough to teach them that they can have what ever they want if they're willing to work hard for it.

    God has a plan. And as yet, he's not decided to tell me what it is. But through all the garbage I've survived in my life.........I've learned to believe that all things happen for a reason. Maybe this move is not to save K ( I hope it is) but to offer Hope to her children instead. Even if it is only to put them within reach of the family who loves and cares for them.

    During these past couple of years......and most especially this past year.....I've noticed (and my Mom really noticed) I've become A LOT like the grandmother who raised me. I hope so because never did she steer me wrong.
  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Lisa, many hugs. I think it's great that you're becoming like your grandmother...your grandkids are very lucky to have you.
  3. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Big hugs, Lisa. Enjoy the kidlets.
  4. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Big hugs also; enjoy the little peanuts. I'm glad that you will be a part of their lives. They need a stabling force.
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I knew it. Well, at least the kids will be loved. Maybe mom and dad will get lost in the shuffle. Or eaten by bears? Do you have bears?
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    LMAO Janet........unfortunately no bears. But the next best thing.....cps where she has a record already and cops who know me very well. :D

    easy child is less than thrilled at this newest development. She's happy at seeing the kids again, not so happy about seeing her sister and her husband again. She's evidently still holding on to the anger from 10 yrs ago. And well, let's face it, NONE of us are going to be thrilled to have to deal with her husband.

    That is going to be the worst part of it all. Perv man. I mean, omg how do you manage to even be polite to someone who has posted nude pics of himself all over MySpace?? K just mentions him and those pics suddenly appear in my brain like a bad pcp flashback. Perhaps we'll get lucky enough he will keep his distance from us. Hahaha I sooooo doubt it, but one can dream. If I do manage to fake politeness to him, the kill em with kindness type, I will indeed be a credit to my grandmother.

    Whew weee! The holidays will certainly be interesting this year.:tongue:
  7. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Maybe the first time you know he's coming over? Post one of those pics on the fridge. Or heck, frame it in the living room. Be sure to tell him what the bridge club ladies thought about his ridiculousness, and maybe he'll be too red to ever set foot in your space again!
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Shari...that is so evil it is brilliant! I would do it in a hot minute. Frame it and put it among the pictures of family and say you had no other photos of her husband so this one had to do! LOL.
  9. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Guest

    Shari - that is hilarious!!!! LOVE IT!!!!
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    ROFLMAO!! :rofl: :rofl:

    Well I would except that it's rated XXX and there are too many young ones around. lol But Shari that was brilliant. :D
  11. You could always "photoshop" in a chihuahua or something manly like a tutu to protect the innocence of the young ones.