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General Parenting
Did I do more harm than good?
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<blockquote data-quote="On_Call" data-source="post: 56433" data-attributes="member: 3211"><p>I have to say that my first very humble opinion is that you did the right thing here. You are in an unusual situation that has got to be a tricky balancing act on a daily basis. I know that our easy child gets invited by friends and family on a more consistent basis because she is an easier child. Mostly, if I can't go and have both munchkins attend, neither goes - unless of course it is a birthday party for a easy child-friend, etc. If one of the kids is invited specifically to something for a peer they go.</p><p></p><p>The only exception to this rule for us is that my neighbor will sometimes take easy child along on outings which involve many children that are easy child's age. For instance, she took easy child berrypicking a few weeks ago - all of the children were aged toddler - 9 years old. Not something difficult child would have liked to do anyway, no one his age, and he had plans with wraparound services. And, because difficult child attends the extended school year program, we try to involve easy child in day camps, etc.</p><p></p><p>My mother does not live with us and frequently takes each one of the kids on a separate basis - but it is just a trip to McD's or overnight at her house - and she is as equitable with each as she can be.</p><p></p><p>You have the added facet of a blended family, but my gut tells me that you made the right decision here. I agree with Heather - if your Dad kept a separate residence, it might be different, but as a regular housemate, everyone should be on equal footing.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="On_Call, post: 56433, member: 3211"] I have to say that my first very humble opinion is that you did the right thing here. You are in an unusual situation that has got to be a tricky balancing act on a daily basis. I know that our easy child gets invited by friends and family on a more consistent basis because she is an easier child. Mostly, if I can't go and have both munchkins attend, neither goes - unless of course it is a birthday party for a easy child-friend, etc. If one of the kids is invited specifically to something for a peer they go. The only exception to this rule for us is that my neighbor will sometimes take easy child along on outings which involve many children that are easy child's age. For instance, she took easy child berrypicking a few weeks ago - all of the children were aged toddler - 9 years old. Not something difficult child would have liked to do anyway, no one his age, and he had plans with wraparound services. And, because difficult child attends the extended school year program, we try to involve easy child in day camps, etc. My mother does not live with us and frequently takes each one of the kids on a separate basis - but it is just a trip to McD's or overnight at her house - and she is as equitable with each as she can be. You have the added facet of a blended family, but my gut tells me that you made the right decision here. I agree with Heather - if your Dad kept a separate residence, it might be different, but as a regular housemate, everyone should be on equal footing. [/QUOTE]
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