Did you miss me? This is what happened next

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Ropefree, Jan 5, 2009.

  1. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    Hi everyone.

    Well, I grounded my difficult child. Took the media stuff, internet, cell phone, and also
    changed rooms while he was missing. Had the police talk to him and laid down the rules. No leaving the house.

    At the advise of one of the conselors I also did not answer any questions what so ever about it. I refered my difficult child back to his own awareness and that he did know and that I was not willing to talk about "it" any..."it" "is not my problem".

    The first two days were very hard to live through. For once I was thanking God that we have been having the in home therapy because that gave me one answer "WE can talk when the therapist gets here."

    On that day the change started. One minute it was the icky awfull yucky
    and then after I had left him alone(again) for part of a day I walked in and he was smiling and he said. "I get it. I really do. I accept it and I just want to thank you Mom."

    Over the last weeks we did board games, pussles, worked on the rules
    and discussed things like we never had till now at this new age level.
    And he has done terrific work around the house and yard. The holidays were good. And today is the first day he has gone out with a friend and he went where there is supervision and had someone call me as I asked.

    I just am so grateful I found this place and all of you who have taken time to share with the vast cyber world and also directly with me what are the possibilities and how to live with whatever does happen.

    I got to the place where I said you know what..if I am going to be feeling this bad about a relationship that is dependant on me then I can go on and feel bad and not spend money to do it. Because I do care listen and do what I can to make things happen one of the things my son said was
    "I realized that this was so important to you that you really went to alot of trouble."

    Truely changing rooms and discontecting the computers was very scary for me. I had no Idea what would happen. I knew I wouldn't harm the equiptment although I had never done that befor. I kept track of the corda and plugs ect...and returned them to his freind who had loaned them.

    ANd a nice lady from the dv shelter came over to help me do it. It is truely amazing that when it gets down to brass tacs their is help on time, smiling and ready to go.

    So that is all for tonight. This is the first day back on line and Happy New year! My house is starting out this one on the new leaf best foot forward
    YEY!
     
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wow-Good for you! I hope the positive changes continue:)
     
  3. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Ropefree, sounds like you and your difficult child have made some positive changes.
    Enjoy them.

    Trinity
     
  4. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ropefree,

    sounds like their is a new awareness of cause and effect with your difficult child. That's progress!!!!!!!

    Sharon
     
  5. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    What a great way to start the New Year! It is so wonderful when everyone's hard work pays off. For difficult child to take ownership of his own actions is super big - It really is the key to success. We can do everything imaginable to push the knowledge and wisdom at them, but unless they really pick things up on their own and make their own choices, change is almost impossible. Oh, they may follow the program and the rules, but if they are not invested, life is harder for them.
     
  6. Nancy423

    Nancy423 do I have to be the mom?

    Well HAPPY new year to you!!! Hope the rest of the year is just as happy.
     
  7. aeroeng

    aeroeng Mom of Three

    Wow! That must have been some difficult days. But it looks like it is working!! Wonderful. I can't wait to read about next months status. We all are learning!

    Thanks,

    Marf
     
  8. compassion

    compassion Member

    I did miss you. Thanks for sharing. Congrats!!!! Compassion
     
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    VERY good, Ropefree! Congratulations!
    That's such good news.
    I hope it continues to improve. You know there will be a bit of backsliding, but you also know what you can do about it now.
    YOU are in charge. Now your difficult child knows it.
    Congrats!
     
  10. maril

    maril New Member

    :happy_new_year:Happy New Year to you. Thanks for sharing your positive news. It is great to hear.
     
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