Did you miss me? This is what happened next

Ropefree

Banned
Hi everyone.

Well, I grounded my difficult child. Took the media stuff, internet, cell phone, and also
changed rooms while he was missing. Had the police talk to him and laid down the rules. No leaving the house.

At the advise of one of the conselors I also did not answer any questions what so ever about it. I refered my difficult child back to his own awareness and that he did know and that I was not willing to talk about "it" any..."it" "is not my problem".

The first two days were very hard to live through. For once I was thanking God that we have been having the in home therapy because that gave me one answer "WE can talk when the therapist gets here."

On that day the change started. One minute it was the icky awfull yucky
and then after I had left him alone(again) for part of a day I walked in and he was smiling and he said. "I get it. I really do. I accept it and I just want to thank you Mom."

Over the last weeks we did board games, pussles, worked on the rules
and discussed things like we never had till now at this new age level.
And he has done terrific work around the house and yard. The holidays were good. And today is the first day he has gone out with a friend and he went where there is supervision and had someone call me as I asked.

I just am so grateful I found this place and all of you who have taken time to share with the vast cyber world and also directly with me what are the possibilities and how to live with whatever does happen.

I got to the place where I said you know what..if I am going to be feeling this bad about a relationship that is dependant on me then I can go on and feel bad and not spend money to do it. Because I do care listen and do what I can to make things happen one of the things my son said was
"I realized that this was so important to you that you really went to alot of trouble."

Truely changing rooms and discontecting the computers was very scary for me. I had no Idea what would happen. I knew I wouldn't harm the equiptment although I had never done that befor. I kept track of the corda and plugs ect...and returned them to his freind who had loaned them.

ANd a nice lady from the dv shelter came over to help me do it. It is truely amazing that when it gets down to brass tacs their is help on time, smiling and ready to go.

So that is all for tonight. This is the first day back on line and Happy New year! My house is starting out this one on the new leaf best foot forward
YEY!
 

Andy

Active Member
What a great way to start the New Year! It is so wonderful when everyone's hard work pays off. For difficult child to take ownership of his own actions is super big - It really is the key to success. We can do everything imaginable to push the knowledge and wisdom at them, but unless they really pick things up on their own and make their own choices, change is almost impossible. Oh, they may follow the program and the rules, but if they are not invested, life is harder for them.
 

aeroeng

Mom of Three
Wow! That must have been some difficult days. But it looks like it is working!! Wonderful. I can't wait to read about next months status. We all are learning!

Thanks,

Marf
 

TerryJ2

Well-Known Member
VERY good, Ropefree! Congratulations!
That's such good news.
I hope it continues to improve. You know there will be a bit of backsliding, but you also know what you can do about it now.
YOU are in charge. Now your difficult child knows it.
Congrats!
 
Top