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Did you watch 20/20 Friday night?
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 214727" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslategray">Tammy, I didn't see the show either, but I've been reading about it avidly in the paper and online. </span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslategray">I think your H and mine would see eye to eye on this topic. I don't think your H or mine are completely wrong, but they are also not completely correct either. </span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslategray">I can only speak for myself and say that before I learned of difficult child's issues and disorders, she did receive an occasional spanking. When I realized that it wasn't helping (at all) and neither were the time outs and groundings and taking away of privileges...that is when I finally sought help. </span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslategray">That said, I will also say that then the opposite happened. I tended to go easier on her in my effort to be more patient and understanding - thus, creating a monster who learned how to play every adult she came in contact with. After a time, I finally found my balance, but the problems were slightly larger because she was slightly older - the dreaded pre-teen! </span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslategray">I think that some form of heavy handedness in an unruly child is called for, yes. There are certain behaviors that need to be nipped in the bud and mental disorder or not, they need to know that certain behaviors are unacceptable. However, It is up to the parent to discern when a child is simply 'playing' you or when there is truly a mental 'something' going on. THAT is where the fine line lay and that is where H and my opinions differ and that is when we begin to debate the issue and I end up being appalled because in his zeal to make his point, he says similar things to your H, such as giving the kid a good spanking, etc. </span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslategray">What exactly is a 'good' spanking? I think I received a couple of those in my youth, but they never felt very good. </span></span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: darkslategray">So while I see your H's point of view, I agree more so with you. It's a very delicate balance in my opinion. </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Century Gothic'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #2f4f4f">As to the safe haven law, I believe it's been set up across the country with the best of intentions, but as I said in another post...what if the infancy is the easiest part of your child's life? Then what? If you try to find a way out you are arrested for abandonment, which helps no one and the kid ends up in foster care anyway. I don't know the answer, but I can't say whether it's a good law or not. I head it was amended to only 30 days. Is that so?</span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 214727, member: 2211"] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslategray]Tammy, I didn't see the show either, but I've been reading about it avidly in the paper and online. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslategray]I think your H and mine would see eye to eye on this topic. I don't think your H or mine are completely wrong, but they are also not completely correct either. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslategray]I can only speak for myself and say that before I learned of difficult child's issues and disorders, she did receive an occasional spanking. When I realized that it wasn't helping (at all) and neither were the time outs and groundings and taking away of privileges...that is when I finally sought help. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslategray]That said, I will also say that then the opposite happened. I tended to go easier on her in my effort to be more patient and understanding - thus, creating a monster who learned how to play every adult she came in contact with. After a time, I finally found my balance, but the problems were slightly larger because she was slightly older - the dreaded pre-teen! [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslategray]I think that some form of heavy handedness in an unruly child is called for, yes. There are certain behaviors that need to be nipped in the bud and mental disorder or not, they need to know that certain behaviors are unacceptable. However, It is up to the parent to discern when a child is simply 'playing' you or when there is truly a mental 'something' going on. THAT is where the fine line lay and that is where H and my opinions differ and that is when we begin to debate the issue and I end up being appalled because in his zeal to make his point, he says similar things to your H, such as giving the kid a good spanking, etc. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslategray]What exactly is a 'good' spanking? I think I received a couple of those in my youth, but they never felt very good. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=darkslategray]So while I see your H's point of view, I agree more so with you. It's a very delicate balance in my opinion. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=#2f4f4f][/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Century Gothic][SIZE=3][COLOR=#2f4f4f]As to the safe haven law, I believe it's been set up across the country with the best of intentions, but as I said in another post...what if the infancy is the easiest part of your child's life? Then what? If you try to find a way out you are arrested for abandonment, which helps no one and the kid ends up in foster care anyway. I don't know the answer, but I can't say whether it's a good law or not. I head it was amended to only 30 days. Is that so?[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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Did you watch 20/20 Friday night?
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