Didn't go to school yesterday, looking like day 2 is in the works.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by StressedM0mma, Apr 9, 2013.

  1. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    difficult child won't get out of bed and get ready. But, I am doing much better about her. Yesterday I told her she is 16, I am not going to whine or beg her to get up. If she does not go, I will call her in unexcused but the rest falls on her. I did explain that at the rate she is going, she will be lucky to graduate, and her "dreams" of being a Vet are never going to happen. (Didn't bother to explain I can't even see her attending college.)

    We will see if she can get herself up and ready on time today. (Will let you all know later today.) On the upside, I think I have finally gotten to the place of "I do not care, it is not my problem" Not sure that is a good thing, but that is where I am.
  2. ksm

    ksm Well-Known Member

    Glad that you aren't letting yourself get worked up. been there done that. Maybe you'll have to change your user ID to "NotStressedMomma"!! Good luck with the rest of your day.

    I can get my difficult child to school, but actually getting her to the classes on time is her job. One more tardy in math, and she gets an F, has to repeat it next year, has to spend 4th hour is in school suspension, AND attend Friday School from 3:30 to 6pm every Friday til the end of school. This Friday she has a "one time" Friday school... hoping it is enough to motivate her to get to class. KSM
  3. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    Glad to hear that you're not getting yourself sucked into it. Hopefully, she'll get up and get going.
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Unless you can find one of those catapulting beds that lands her bottom inside the school, what choice do you have? I'm glad you have come to this place. It's far from the fights you first said you were having when you came here-- I remember you saying yes, you did too have to fight to get her to shower daily! Isn't it crazy how our priorities change?
  5. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Buddy, thanks for the reminder. She has come quite aways. It is just so frustratingWe got to school this morning and she wouldn't get out. I REALLY had to go to the bathroom, and I was in my PJs so I came home went to the bathroom, and she SWORE she was going to go in when we got there. Guess what, nope. So, we will be leaving in about 2-3 minutes to go again. I have tried to explain to her that it is the driving there, and then not getting out that just sets me off. Just tell me what is going on, and quit wasting my time. Don't lie and say you are going when you have no intention of it.

    And, if you ever find one of those catapulting beds, please PM me the website. It would be worth every single penny.
  6. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Does she have an anxiety disorder or is she being defiant?

    If it is an anxiety disorder, maybe the school could provide a 'homebound teacher' that comes to the house. I had one when I had an illness that kept me from school for several months.
  7. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Apple, she does have an anxiety disorder. One of the issues is that she does not want to homebound, and even though we could force her to do it, I do not think it is the best choice for her at this time. She really wants to be at school and is trying. And, she is doing better than she was. It is just very frustrating.
  8. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Did she go in?

    I still vote for a taxi. Pay ahead for one way and make it clear to the driver you won't pay if he brings her back home, lol.
  9. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

  10. IT1967

    IT1967 Member

    I'm so sorry this is happening. Is she just so anxiety-ridden about going to school? I feel bad for her and you. This stuff is soooo hard.
  11. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I still want to <choke> that GC... who didn't even let the teachers know about her 504.
    Just made everything so much worse... and it didn't need to go this way.
  12. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    I agree totally IC. At this point with just one quarter left, I am again this year, trying to get through the rest of the year. I have a feeling that tomorrow morning is going to go the same way.

    I explained to her how frustrated I get when I drive her all the way to school and then she changes her mind. I told husband, I would love to take her somewhere, and then change my mind and say sorry I just can't do it. I know it is petty and mean, but I would love to just show her what it feels like.
  13. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    And, she was on time this morning! I really really wish I could figure out her triggers. I cant find rhyme or reason out of going and not going. I thought for sure she would be at home today because she could not find her spanish study sheet, and she has a test today. Insight anyone???
  14. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    I'm guessing today she knew exactly where gym class would be? Not knowing where was one of her triggers and that being her first class... I'd have asked for a schedule change or for her to not have gym class at all if that was one of the issues.
  15. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I didn't have school issues (just tons of other issues...). But... PE was the absolute WORST class, ever. I hated every single minute of it. If there had been any way to avoid it, I would have.

    She's got PE first thing in the morning? UGH. Not only does she not have the right supports this year, she's got a rotten schedule. But if she's feeling "up to" PE, it probably affects how she starts the day.
  16. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I don't know how this works, but if bipolar is at play, can she cycle in and out of moods that allow her to behave more appropriately that frequently? Are they sill considering this?
  17. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    I do not think they are looking at bipolar anymore. I do not really know though. For awhile I was thinking bipolar could be part of it, but lately she has been much more stable could be the Abilify though. I am starting to wonder if she likes certain teachers enough to actually care if she doesn't get the work completed for their classes, and doesn't want to disappoint them.??
  18. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Sometimes the relationship with a teacher does make all the difference. You could be right, could be part of her motivation with them.