Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Difference between 13yo and 15yo??
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 343277" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Thanks, Ladies! LDM, I've been thinking that since difficult child will be on house arrest the first 30 days, we will use that time to discuss what things will be like specifically after he comes off house arrest. We have started to discuss things in general- as far as him writing me his concerns and me writing him mine and my willingness to give him another chance, but priviledges being given gradually not 100% the minute house arrest is over. And the overall determination of things will be based on me seeing him make good choices for himself. I expect we will continue with this and get a little more in depth with it, but the specifics about what nights he can visit friends or time to be home will not be outlined until he's here. For one thing, we don't know yet what time the PO will set his curfew and what the school schedule will be like. </p><p></p><p>One of the previous problems has been that the PO dictates so many of the rules, that difficult child sees only the PO as an authority figure, and not me anymore. I want to make sure that I don't lay out speicifics that get thrown out the window after we learn the specific requirements of the PO.</p><p></p><p>Does this sound like a reasonable but practical approach?</p><p></p><p>There is one area where I'm unsure how I should approach it so maybe someone here has some ideas you can throw out. difficult child wants consistency in what he's allowed and not allowed to do and that is understandable. However, in previous times it got to a point where I could see that "itch" on him at certain times and just knew he was headed for trouble if I let him out of my sight, and sure enough it normally turned out that way if I let him go anywhere, even for 20 mins. There fore he didn't always get a set rule of being allowed to go out with friends from 2:00 to 4:00 on Sats, for example. Now sometimes I kept him home because he had just started a new medication and since he'd started that brush fire a couple of weeks after having prozac doubled and getting basicly kicked out of school, I wanted to make sure I started new medications on Fridays and watch him thru the weekend for any agitation or adverse reaction, mental or physical. He's not on medications now so that part goes away, at least for now. BUt the part about when you as a parent can tell if they go anywhere that day, they are headed for trouble, what do you do? Do you revoke a typical priviledge or let them go anyway and just tell yourself that it's his choice and responsibility if he does something rash or stupid or digs himself in deeper?</p><p></p><p>At 13yo and on medications, I think I was right to make him stay home sometimes- he did rage over it, but he didn't set anymore brush fires. At 15yo and not on medications but being on parole and knowing if he breaks the first law he goes straight back to incarceration, I'm not so sure.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 343277, member: 3699"] Thanks, Ladies! LDM, I've been thinking that since difficult child will be on house arrest the first 30 days, we will use that time to discuss what things will be like specifically after he comes off house arrest. We have started to discuss things in general- as far as him writing me his concerns and me writing him mine and my willingness to give him another chance, but priviledges being given gradually not 100% the minute house arrest is over. And the overall determination of things will be based on me seeing him make good choices for himself. I expect we will continue with this and get a little more in depth with it, but the specifics about what nights he can visit friends or time to be home will not be outlined until he's here. For one thing, we don't know yet what time the PO will set his curfew and what the school schedule will be like. One of the previous problems has been that the PO dictates so many of the rules, that difficult child sees only the PO as an authority figure, and not me anymore. I want to make sure that I don't lay out speicifics that get thrown out the window after we learn the specific requirements of the PO. Does this sound like a reasonable but practical approach? There is one area where I'm unsure how I should approach it so maybe someone here has some ideas you can throw out. difficult child wants consistency in what he's allowed and not allowed to do and that is understandable. However, in previous times it got to a point where I could see that "itch" on him at certain times and just knew he was headed for trouble if I let him out of my sight, and sure enough it normally turned out that way if I let him go anywhere, even for 20 mins. There fore he didn't always get a set rule of being allowed to go out with friends from 2:00 to 4:00 on Sats, for example. Now sometimes I kept him home because he had just started a new medication and since he'd started that brush fire a couple of weeks after having prozac doubled and getting basicly kicked out of school, I wanted to make sure I started new medications on Fridays and watch him thru the weekend for any agitation or adverse reaction, mental or physical. He's not on medications now so that part goes away, at least for now. BUt the part about when you as a parent can tell if they go anywhere that day, they are headed for trouble, what do you do? Do you revoke a typical priviledge or let them go anyway and just tell yourself that it's his choice and responsibility if he does something rash or stupid or digs himself in deeper? At 13yo and on medications, I think I was right to make him stay home sometimes- he did rage over it, but he didn't set anymore brush fires. At 15yo and not on medications but being on parole and knowing if he breaks the first law he goes straight back to incarceration, I'm not so sure. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Difference between 13yo and 15yo??
Top