difficult child 1 calls last night to just let us know....

[mrscatinthehat]

some things before our staffing on Monday.

First she tells me she ran the other night. Me "I know staff called" in as blah a voice as I can.

She says "Oh" in the hmm I expected a better reaction voice. Then she says "My boyfriend and I had sex at school the other day."

This one take a bit more effort (as my brain was crawling out the ear that wasn't against the phone). Me "Oh, not sure how that could happen" again with the blah voice.

She says " we met in the rest room behind the gym"

Me "Oh, Okay well if I think of any more questions we can talk later."

She "Okay (you could hear the confusion) they took me to get std testing at the dr (you could almost hear glee in her voice as I am sure she was expecting me to freak) even though he said he doesn't have any".

Me "That seems sensible on the staffs part."

Then she goes "okay well I guess I will talk to you later"

Me "Okay, I love you (that one I added feeling to)"

And got off the phone.

The pride I had in myself was huge at not reacting at all. I know this is what she wanted then she could have a meltdown this weekend and we not show up for the staffing (as that is what happened last month). Well this is not even on the table this month as we have too much to do at this staffing.

I did retrieve my brain from the table. What helped was easy child was sitting opposite me and I didn't want her to hear any details about what was going on.

I think I did detatchment well. Afterward I wasn't sure if I was going to throw up or not. But alas I controlled the phone call she did not.

Beth

 

[flutterbee]

:bravo: Well done!

Now, go find the pepto bismal.

(((hugs)))

 

[TerryJ2]

Good job, Beth!
Sheesh, STD testing AFTER they have sex. In school. Delightful.
Sigh.
:frown:

 

[jbrain]

You did an amazing job, Beth! Thanks for letting us know, we are proud of you!
Jane

 

[slsh]

Beth - you are my *hero*!!! :bow: OMG... I think you did absolutely wonderful. I'm so proud of you. Do you give lessons??? :wink:

Perhaps we should just keep barf bags next to our phones. :rofl:

Of course, you know the next one will be "I think I'm pregnant". Prepare now. :rolleyes:

 

[mrscatinthehat]

Oh she is on the depo shot (Residential Treatment Center (RTC) requirement for going to public school - unless some sort of reason she can't be on it :bravo: :whew:). I was thanking my lucky stars on that one. I really don't want to raise a grandchild. I will mind you but don't want to if it can be helped.

And I would be happy to give detachment classes. When on the phone it is soooo much easier. Then I don't feel all crappy. What she did isn't going to change so I just don't engage most of the time. :hypnosis:

The blessing is husband takes the calls from one Residential Treatment Center (RTC) and I the other most of the time because then neither one of us is getting it all.


Beth

 

[Hound dog]

Absolutely awesome job, Beth!!!!

:smile: :bravo:

Whenever my kids tried to shock me, and trust me ALL of them did it at one time or other, I'd repeat in my head that I can't do anything about something already done. It helped tons to keep the face blank and the voice flat.

Or else I'd pretend they were someone else's kid. :rofl:

 

[happymomof2]

Note to self - I must learn from you ladies. Wow I am impressed. My mom always said I wear my emotions on my sleeve. Gotta stop that.

 

[Fran]

Beth, not much you could do at this point.
I would have to bite my tongue from asking if sex in a filthy public restroom was all she thought it would be? but you were much wiser than me.
The idea of some of our kids(mine included) procreating scares the shoes right off of me.

You did good!

 

[Hound dog]

I would have to bite my tongue from asking if sex in a filthy public restroom was all she thought it would be?

 

[JJJ]

Good job Beth!!!!!

 

[DDD]

Way To Go!!!!!!! I'm impressed! DDD

 

[Suz]

Beth, It sounds like you have graduated with flying colors from Detachment 101. I'm so impressed!

I did retrieve my brain from the table.

The first time I read your post I thought this said, "I retrieved my brains from the table" like they had exploded from the conversation (understandable if they had).

Anyway, I'm proud of you.

Suz

 

[meowbunny]

Wow!!!! Don't know how you did it but I'm seriously impressed. Any time you want to hold a seminar on how to hold your tongue, LMK, I'm coming!

Take a bow. Heck, take several bows!!!

 

[hearts and roses]

:bow: Seriously, you are my hero. I canNOT believe you were able to hold your tongue like that. Not me, uh uh, I couldn't have done it! Bravo, Mrs. :bravo:

 

[Wiped Out]

Wow-I'm very impressed-you handled it beautifully!

 

[Steely]

Wow!!! I am impressed! You are awesome!!!
:dance:

 

[Marguerite]

Wow! Well done for not giving her the satisfaction of shocking you. It really makes me cranky when kids try this on - my kids have learnt better and have sometimes goaded their friends to try to shock me. They never do it twice.

But when it's your own kid...

Mind you, as soon as my girls became sexually active, I took them for testing myself. Not necessarily because I thought the boy could have been a risk, but I shocked the girls by saying ti was the courteous thing to do TO REASSURE THE GUY that they were not putting HIM at risk. It's one thing to blithely say, "I don't have any STDs," it's quite another to present your new partner with a piece of paper saying you don't. Mind you, if you're promiscuous, the piece of paper rapidly loses all value with time passing, as the number of risky encounters than could have taken place since the test, rises.

I didn't organise the testing in any atmosphere of punishment, either - I presented it as "manners, social nicety" sort of thing. As if everybody does that...

And to have your mother sitting there with you, calmly discussing sexual responsibility, can really gross out a lot of kids. Parents are not supposed to know anything about sex, it was invented by THIS generation! And if you can manage to turn the topic to include "mucus" you have totally got your own back on your kids. Try discussing natural contraception with them, to introduce mucus into the topic. Works a treat as aversion therapy. And do make sure you go into detail. Relish it. And next time you're having coffee together or she has the guy over for a visit, again bring up the topic. Be open with it. Wide open. makes sense.

Enjoy! (as much as you can)

Marg

 

[timer lady]

Beth,

Let me see.....can you just see that smug look on your difficult children face as she's trying to yank your chain? Can you feel yourself turning red in the face while doing your utmost to maintain? Boy do I know that feeling. And kt is only 13 - God help me!

You did good, sweetie. I'm so impressed.

I hope the rest of your day went will & you were able to enjoy the outing with easy child.

 

[LynnG61]

I am jotting down notes Beth, hope you don't mind! :smile: