difficult child 1 lost his door last night...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by gcvmom, Dec 19, 2007.

  1. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    as a consequence to his refusal to stop throwing things at it and slamming it during a tantrum/hissy fit/protest. It was the last straw in a series of events wherein he continually did things that were destructive and was asked to stop (persistently banging his fist with fork handle point on wood dining room table got the ball rolling).

    I didn't scream, kept my cool, and escorted him to his room all the while explaining that as a resident of our home he was required to follow the rules and that included any request that I made of him, whether he liked it or not. That's when the door slamming and throwing stuff began, along with loud verbal insults from behind the door (which I'm more willing to ignore compared to the physical stuff).

    After about the third or fourth request for him to stop throwing things, I said that he'd lose the door if he didn't stop. And of course, he took that as a challenge. So I got the hammer, screwdriver, and a pick to unlock his door, forced my way in and proceeded to remove the pins from the hinges (very calmly, I am proud to say).

    He freaked out when he realized what I was doing and ran out the back door to the yard, where it happened to be raining and was dark and cold. I put the door in the garage, and continued about my business.

    After about 20 minutes, he was knocking at the front door and ringing the bell. I talked to him through the door and asked if he was ready to behave and he started with some obnoxious retort, to which I replied that he was not going to be invited back in the house until he was ready to change his attitude and his behavior.

    Apparently after that he went out front and walked up and down our street a few times, layed in the gutter once and got soaked, and then rang bell again. This time, he was holding the door so I couldn't open it! By the time I forced it open, I was really irate and hollered after him as he ran to the curb that he'd "better run!" I went back inside for about 15 minutes, then went out to look for him.

    He was walking back up the street, crossed to the other side when he saw me and went to the other end of the street and sat on the curb. I figured with his wet clothes and the cold air, it wouldn't be long before he had a change of heart.

    Sure enough, after about 5 more minutes, he was walking back towards me, saying he was ready to behave and come back in, and he was really, really sorry for how he acted. I hugged him and said I still love him but that I cannot tolerate his bad behavior. He was pretty upset by now, but very remorseful.

    He was surprised when he discovered that I had actually removed his door, and was trying to come up with alternatives, like putting cardboard over the opening, or hanging a sheet, to which I said "No." I said he could have the door back after Xmas if his behavior was good. He seems to be accepting the consequence, and told me repeatedly this morning that he's learned his lesson.

    Adding this drama to difficult child 2's suspension yesterday made for an early bedtime for me :smile:

    I sure hope this isn't a foreshock to the rest of his teen years... :scared:
     
  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    You've had a rough 24 hours in your household. Hope things settle down soon. Hugs.
     
  3. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    gcv, I laughed all the way through your post. It really wasn't funny, but it's just amazing how much alike all of our difficult children are! My difficult child would have done the exact same things. They just do NOT get it. Remorseful or not, they will do it again and again.
     
  4. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    This just is not fair to our kids.

    Christmas (or what have you) and what it has become...it is just too much.

    Sigh. Hugs to you and all you other suffering mommies.
     
  5. mom_in_training

    mom_in_training New Member

    Good job Mom (Handymom that is) Lets just hope that he continues with good behaviour.
     
  6. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Wow, you're due for a break I'd say! It's great that you were able to remain calm throughout. Good for you! difficult child lost her bedroom door for a long time once. She's never slammed her door again, well, maybe once or twice, but not like before.

    I hope the holidays go well, hugs~
     
  7. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    I just upped my own medications because I was starting to have trouble holding myself together, so maybe that's why I've been able to stay so calm... :wink:

    My mom laughed hysterically when I gave her the update this morning... it is pretty comical when you stand back a bit from it. I just love the laying-down-in-the-gutter-while-it-was-raining part :hammer: ... that will be a good tale to tell when he's an adult!

    Well, now I'm off to difficult child 2's emergency psychiatrist appointment to sort out the new fine mess he's in.

    More updates later...
     
  8. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    :rofl: Yes, that was very funny. Reminded me of the time when difficult child was about 9 or so and she was sent to her room. She was so mad at me, she opened her window, reached out and pulled a FULL flower box from outside and placed it on her bed so she could climb out the window. Another time, she decided to run off in a wicked snowstorm, without a jacket or shoes. She went out in socks in a blizzard and then told me it was my fault because I refuse to be nice to her. Hahaha!! I can't wait to tell those stories to her kids (please God let that be a long way off!)
     
  9. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

     
  10. I did this with former difficult child years ago, when she was in a mood similar to your difficult child's. After I took the door down she was enraged, then in disbelief, I guess she never thought we'd resort to that, we kept it off for about 1 or 2 weeks and she hated it, but I learned it was a great way to keep her in line...way to go mom!
     
  11. happymomof2

    happymomof2 New Member

    :bravo: :bravo: :bravo:
    Good for you. I am not sure if it bothers our difficult child's or not - to not get the reaction they expect from us, but it sure does make you feel better when (at least in front of them) you can be calm and collected.

    I am trying really hard at that. Even if I have to go into my room lock the door and beat the heck out of a pillow.
     
  12. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Yes, aren't you sorry that he had to lie down in the gutter all because of you?

    :rofl:

    That's one for the CD Board Memory Book, I think!

    Way To Go, Warrior Mom!
     
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