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Parent Emeritus
difficult child 18 on 5/4
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 591574" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Good morning MICHL. Well, it appears you're pretty clear on everything difficult child will NOT do and isn't willing to participate in, yet he remains lazy, willing to drain your ex of money and energy and be obnoxious and destructive. Since he is unwilling to change, then you and your ex must make the changes for him. There may or may not be services for him, however, continuing to allow this behavior just gives him permission to be a jerk. At some point, someone will have to take a stand for themselves and do something, which sounds more and more as if it will be the police since he is combative and explosive. No one has to put up with that behavior, <em>no one should either</em>. </p><p></p><p>As many of us here have found, unless WE do something, our difficult child's just remain who they have become, parasitic, manipulative, lazy people who refuse to change or get help. The sad truth is that nothing is going to change for you or your ex until you both decide that this behavior is unacceptable and you make some hard choices. It certainly is not easy, in fact, it's extremely difficult, but otherwise, you and your poor ex will sacrifice your lives for this kid, while he learns nothing but how to get his needs met by intimidation and terrible behavior. Remember, <em>you end up living with what you're willing to accept.</em> I hope your counselor has some insights and ideas for you. I wish you peace............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 591574, member: 13542"] Good morning MICHL. Well, it appears you're pretty clear on everything difficult child will NOT do and isn't willing to participate in, yet he remains lazy, willing to drain your ex of money and energy and be obnoxious and destructive. Since he is unwilling to change, then you and your ex must make the changes for him. There may or may not be services for him, however, continuing to allow this behavior just gives him permission to be a jerk. At some point, someone will have to take a stand for themselves and do something, which sounds more and more as if it will be the police since he is combative and explosive. No one has to put up with that behavior, [I]no one should either[/I]. As many of us here have found, unless WE do something, our difficult child's just remain who they have become, parasitic, manipulative, lazy people who refuse to change or get help. The sad truth is that nothing is going to change for you or your ex until you both decide that this behavior is unacceptable and you make some hard choices. It certainly is not easy, in fact, it's extremely difficult, but otherwise, you and your poor ex will sacrifice your lives for this kid, while he learns nothing but how to get his needs met by intimidation and terrible behavior. Remember, [I]you end up living with what you're willing to accept.[/I] I hope your counselor has some insights and ideas for you. I wish you peace............ [/QUOTE]
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difficult child 18 on 5/4
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