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Parent Emeritus
difficult child 18 on 5/4
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<blockquote data-quote="welcometowitsend" data-source="post: 591578" data-attributes="member: 14356"><p>RE is so right. Unless you change something your difficult child will never change. His life is working for him right now. He doesn't have to go to school, can sit around, eat junk and play video games all day. He probably thinks his life is great. The rages are for when he doesn't get what he wants. I see that he is Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) and ADD so his emotional maturity is probably far below his age at this point. </p><p></p><p>There is a family in our local support group whose son dropped out of school at age 14 to play online video games. He has sat in front of a computer screen for the last 7 years 18 hours or more a day!!!! Nothing has changed. He has now developed agoraphobia (fear of being out in public) and won't leave the house hardly ever. He also rages when he doesn't get his way and has now taken to breaking windows in the home which has become unbelievably costly for his parents. He is no longer a child but has not emotionally matured at all because he hasn't been required to. And he is the size and build of a full grown man now. </p><p></p><p>I'm telling you this because I want to give you an example of a situation in which nothing changed, nothing was done, nothing was forced on this child. I don't want that to happen to you and your Ex.</p><p></p><p>I think getting counselling is a great first step as well as any other support group you can find. Next time he damaged the house I would call the police and press charges. It might be a wake up call for him that this is not ok. Having the police in his home might wake him up. Being charged might wake him up. Being forced into some sort of therapy might help. </p><p></p><p>I believe that he is still a minor where you live and that as a parent you should be able to force him into some kind of treatment? I'm not sure. But if you have until he is 18 then take every moment of the next 2 years and use it to the fullest. Once he is 18 you can't force him to get any help at all. </p><p></p><p>Hugs to you - this is hard and as parents this is the last board/forum we want to need. But the people here are wonderful and so so supportive.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="welcometowitsend, post: 591578, member: 14356"] RE is so right. Unless you change something your difficult child will never change. His life is working for him right now. He doesn't have to go to school, can sit around, eat junk and play video games all day. He probably thinks his life is great. The rages are for when he doesn't get what he wants. I see that he is Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) and ADD so his emotional maturity is probably far below his age at this point. There is a family in our local support group whose son dropped out of school at age 14 to play online video games. He has sat in front of a computer screen for the last 7 years 18 hours or more a day!!!! Nothing has changed. He has now developed agoraphobia (fear of being out in public) and won't leave the house hardly ever. He also rages when he doesn't get his way and has now taken to breaking windows in the home which has become unbelievably costly for his parents. He is no longer a child but has not emotionally matured at all because he hasn't been required to. And he is the size and build of a full grown man now. I'm telling you this because I want to give you an example of a situation in which nothing changed, nothing was done, nothing was forced on this child. I don't want that to happen to you and your Ex. I think getting counselling is a great first step as well as any other support group you can find. Next time he damaged the house I would call the police and press charges. It might be a wake up call for him that this is not ok. Having the police in his home might wake him up. Being charged might wake him up. Being forced into some sort of therapy might help. I believe that he is still a minor where you live and that as a parent you should be able to force him into some kind of treatment? I'm not sure. But if you have until he is 18 then take every moment of the next 2 years and use it to the fullest. Once he is 18 you can't force him to get any help at all. Hugs to you - this is hard and as parents this is the last board/forum we want to need. But the people here are wonderful and so so supportive. [/QUOTE]
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