We had a baby shower for difficult child 1 this evening. She enjoyed being the center of attention, but at the same time was rather heartbroken about how few of her friends came.
Several of the guests wound up down with the stomach flu going around. (My mother being one of them.) But that's not really why 'her' friends didn't come.
Unfortunately, difficult child 1 is learning some hard lessons about being a teen mom. Most of her friends are more concerned with getting their first car, who is taking them to prom, and whether or not they can convince their parents to extend their curfew. Meanwhile, difficult child is worrying about whether she should breast or bottle feed, which disposable diapers are the better choice, and whether or not to pay for cord bank services. Her life is taking a much different path than most of her friends. Over the last several months, more and more of her friends have pulled back. In all honesty? Only a couple of her friends are still "around" in any meaningful way.
difficult child had alot of family and friends of the family at her shower, but in terms of her friends, only her best friend came. She was heartbroken, but unfortunately, most of us grown ups saw this coming the day we found out she was pregnant. I think in all honesty, she even knew this would happen. Today it just happened to be blazingly obvious just how few friends will actually stick with her for the long haul.
It broke my heart to see her so saddened on a day that most women really enjoy. She did have a good time, but there was still a lingering sadness in her eyes. It's a sadness that I can't really help to ease - just one of those life lessons she has to learn on her own.
On the bright side, she did enjoy all the traditional baby games & being the center of attention for awhile. She was laughing and talking with all her guests & trying to make sure everyone had a good time too. And let me tell ya, Miss Miranda is NOT going to be lacking in the clothing department for her first few months on this earth. lol.
difficult child confided in me the other day how scared she is that she's going to do something wrong, or somehow mess up as a Mom. I couldn't help but giggle at her very normal last minute Mommy jitters. I felt the same way when I was nearing the end of my first pregnancy. I tried to reassure her that it's perfectly normal and healthy to be scared, but not to worry - she has live-in help for the first year since I won't let her move out until she's 18. She doesn't have to do it alone. But she's still scared - something that I actually find comforting, given her age. At least I know she's really thinking about this parenting thing & realizing what a huge responsibility it is to be a parent. That gives me hope that she and Miranda will be okay in the long run. difficult child will have her fair share of bumps and bruises along the way - just like we all do - but in all honesty, she's so determined to do the right thing & be a good Mom, I know that she'll wind up being just fine.
I just wish she would set aside the guilt & let herself enjoy being pregnant & all the firsts she has coming. I know she kind of feels like she doesn't have the "right" to be happy or enjoy it because she's so young & isn't "supposed" to be a parent yet. Between that & losing alot of her friends over the last 8 months, she's having a lot of heartache lately. It breaks my heart for her, as your first child should be (in my eyes) a happy time of life. I wish she were having that kind of experience, rather than all of this growing up all at once stuff & the unfortunate sadness that comes with it.
But all in all? In my heart I know she'll be okay. She's a fighter. This whole experience will serve to make her a stronger person, and a better Mom to little Miranda. She's so much like me it's scary. And I have to admit, I'm really proud of the person she's becoming. I still see glimpses of the difficult child in her, but they are becoming less and less prominent with each passing day. I don't give a hoot what other people think of her, or of me, I'm damn proud of my little girl. She's standing up and trying her best to take responsibility for herself and her soon-to-be daughter. No one can ever take that kind of progress away from her. And I can't help but be proud of her for it.
Several of the guests wound up down with the stomach flu going around. (My mother being one of them.) But that's not really why 'her' friends didn't come.
Unfortunately, difficult child 1 is learning some hard lessons about being a teen mom. Most of her friends are more concerned with getting their first car, who is taking them to prom, and whether or not they can convince their parents to extend their curfew. Meanwhile, difficult child is worrying about whether she should breast or bottle feed, which disposable diapers are the better choice, and whether or not to pay for cord bank services. Her life is taking a much different path than most of her friends. Over the last several months, more and more of her friends have pulled back. In all honesty? Only a couple of her friends are still "around" in any meaningful way.
difficult child had alot of family and friends of the family at her shower, but in terms of her friends, only her best friend came. She was heartbroken, but unfortunately, most of us grown ups saw this coming the day we found out she was pregnant. I think in all honesty, she even knew this would happen. Today it just happened to be blazingly obvious just how few friends will actually stick with her for the long haul.
It broke my heart to see her so saddened on a day that most women really enjoy. She did have a good time, but there was still a lingering sadness in her eyes. It's a sadness that I can't really help to ease - just one of those life lessons she has to learn on her own.
On the bright side, she did enjoy all the traditional baby games & being the center of attention for awhile. She was laughing and talking with all her guests & trying to make sure everyone had a good time too. And let me tell ya, Miss Miranda is NOT going to be lacking in the clothing department for her first few months on this earth. lol.
difficult child confided in me the other day how scared she is that she's going to do something wrong, or somehow mess up as a Mom. I couldn't help but giggle at her very normal last minute Mommy jitters. I felt the same way when I was nearing the end of my first pregnancy. I tried to reassure her that it's perfectly normal and healthy to be scared, but not to worry - she has live-in help for the first year since I won't let her move out until she's 18. She doesn't have to do it alone. But she's still scared - something that I actually find comforting, given her age. At least I know she's really thinking about this parenting thing & realizing what a huge responsibility it is to be a parent. That gives me hope that she and Miranda will be okay in the long run. difficult child will have her fair share of bumps and bruises along the way - just like we all do - but in all honesty, she's so determined to do the right thing & be a good Mom, I know that she'll wind up being just fine.
I just wish she would set aside the guilt & let herself enjoy being pregnant & all the firsts she has coming. I know she kind of feels like she doesn't have the "right" to be happy or enjoy it because she's so young & isn't "supposed" to be a parent yet. Between that & losing alot of her friends over the last 8 months, she's having a lot of heartache lately. It breaks my heart for her, as your first child should be (in my eyes) a happy time of life. I wish she were having that kind of experience, rather than all of this growing up all at once stuff & the unfortunate sadness that comes with it.
But all in all? In my heart I know she'll be okay. She's a fighter. This whole experience will serve to make her a stronger person, and a better Mom to little Miranda. She's so much like me it's scary. And I have to admit, I'm really proud of the person she's becoming. I still see glimpses of the difficult child in her, but they are becoming less and less prominent with each passing day. I don't give a hoot what other people think of her, or of me, I'm damn proud of my little girl. She's standing up and trying her best to take responsibility for herself and her soon-to-be daughter. No one can ever take that kind of progress away from her. And I can't help but be proud of her for it.
