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difficult child 2 and MAJOR conflict with step-dad (husband)
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 316776" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I agree with the therapy. </p><p></p><p>My hub also came into my life to be the stepdad and started out heavyhanded with the kids. He would hear, "You're not my father. I don't have to listen to you." Guess what? He's NOT their father. I married him, they didn't chose him. I did. They have a father. Your hub really does need to understand that he isn't the father and the more he acts out the more they will distant themselves from him and dislike him.</p><p></p><p>Hub and I decided to let him be the friend, and me and my ex would deal out the discipline. That worked well for us because ex and I get along well when we aren't married <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" />. It also took the heat off of my hub, and the house tension went down big time. </p><p></p><p>I really recommend that when kids don't seem to like or respect the stepparent, it's best to step down from trying to be another authority figure. Frankly, his ideas of discipline sound abusive to me. in my opinion you don't try to embarass kids by shaving their heads or not allowing them to change clothes. It will gain stepdad no points with ANYONE and the kids will be ridiculed at school and likely act up even more at home. The school may even call CPS if they catch on.</p><p></p><p>I think a good idea would be for you and hub to get into marriage counseling (even if you drag him by the ear) AND also have family counseling. It's probably a strain on the kids to have four new siblings AND a stepfather. I was lucky that way (in my opinion). Hub didn't have any kids so at least we were only dealing with his issues (hubs).</p><p></p><p>I'm afraid that if you don't get professional intervention YOU will lose respect or get fed up with hub too and your marriage will fall apart.</p><p></p><p>Good luck, whatever you decide to do!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 316776, member: 1550"] I agree with the therapy. My hub also came into my life to be the stepdad and started out heavyhanded with the kids. He would hear, "You're not my father. I don't have to listen to you." Guess what? He's NOT their father. I married him, they didn't chose him. I did. They have a father. Your hub really does need to understand that he isn't the father and the more he acts out the more they will distant themselves from him and dislike him. Hub and I decided to let him be the friend, and me and my ex would deal out the discipline. That worked well for us because ex and I get along well when we aren't married :raspberry-tounge:. It also took the heat off of my hub, and the house tension went down big time. I really recommend that when kids don't seem to like or respect the stepparent, it's best to step down from trying to be another authority figure. Frankly, his ideas of discipline sound abusive to me. in my opinion you don't try to embarass kids by shaving their heads or not allowing them to change clothes. It will gain stepdad no points with ANYONE and the kids will be ridiculed at school and likely act up even more at home. The school may even call CPS if they catch on. I think a good idea would be for you and hub to get into marriage counseling (even if you drag him by the ear) AND also have family counseling. It's probably a strain on the kids to have four new siblings AND a stepfather. I was lucky that way (in my opinion). Hub didn't have any kids so at least we were only dealing with his issues (hubs). I'm afraid that if you don't get professional intervention YOU will lose respect or get fed up with hub too and your marriage will fall apart. Good luck, whatever you decide to do! [/QUOTE]
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difficult child 2 and MAJOR conflict with step-dad (husband)
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