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General Parenting
difficult child 2 and MAJOR conflict with step-dad (husband)
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 316855" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I'm really sorry this is going on. And trust me my hub started out all ready to be a tough guy...I had to reign him in. It was hard for him to accept that my kids would NOT respect him as a father figure because they had a father. Once he 'got it' I think he was very relieved to just be the good guy...lol. </p><p></p><p>Are you on good terms with your ex? Will your ex co-parent with you from a distance? I would call my ex on the phone and we'd discuss each situation and come up with a solution and hub, once he saw that this worked, did not interfer. He now has a good relationship with all those kids...they are grown now.</p><p></p><p>I don't know how you can change your husband, but counseling would be a great start. Then it would be somebody other than you (the wife) telling him to step back and ease off and that his punishments and behavior are not appropriate. He could truly get turned into CPS by one of your kids OR the school if he does any cruel punishments. Does he hit them? He really has no right to do that either.</p><p></p><p>My hub had been in the military for ten years and his dad had been a cop. When he didn't behave his dad used a belt. He'd say to me, "It didn't kill me." I'd say to him, "But if you do that to my kids, I'll kill YOU" lol. He laid off even thinking of corporal punishment. He'd never raised a child before. We would talk about it a lot. Now he is the father to our two kids and he's a great one. He has never so much as started to lift a hand to either. He has changed how he sees fatherhood and recognizes that the belt was inappropriate (although common back then). Your husband needs to listen to you and others. I hope he does.</p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p>Pam <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 316855, member: 1550"] I'm really sorry this is going on. And trust me my hub started out all ready to be a tough guy...I had to reign him in. It was hard for him to accept that my kids would NOT respect him as a father figure because they had a father. Once he 'got it' I think he was very relieved to just be the good guy...lol. Are you on good terms with your ex? Will your ex co-parent with you from a distance? I would call my ex on the phone and we'd discuss each situation and come up with a solution and hub, once he saw that this worked, did not interfer. He now has a good relationship with all those kids...they are grown now. I don't know how you can change your husband, but counseling would be a great start. Then it would be somebody other than you (the wife) telling him to step back and ease off and that his punishments and behavior are not appropriate. He could truly get turned into CPS by one of your kids OR the school if he does any cruel punishments. Does he hit them? He really has no right to do that either. My hub had been in the military for ten years and his dad had been a cop. When he didn't behave his dad used a belt. He'd say to me, "It didn't kill me." I'd say to him, "But if you do that to my kids, I'll kill YOU" lol. He laid off even thinking of corporal punishment. He'd never raised a child before. We would talk about it a lot. Now he is the father to our two kids and he's a great one. He has never so much as started to lift a hand to either. He has changed how he sees fatherhood and recognizes that the belt was inappropriate (although common back then). Your husband needs to listen to you and others. I hope he does. Hugs, Pam :) [/QUOTE]
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difficult child 2 and MAJOR conflict with step-dad (husband)
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