difficult child 2/easy child's classmate killed

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by jbrain, Jun 13, 2009.

  1. jbrain

    jbrain Member

    M, (difficult child 2/easy child) called me yesterday from school--it was the last day of classes. Her classmate, R, was killed in a car accident Thursday night (his car went over an embankment on a hilly road, and hit a tree). The whole senior class was of course upset. What should have been a happy day for them became a very sad day. M wasn't close friends with him but my other dtr was good friends with his sister during school and she remembers him as being a nice, funny kid.

    I guess he'd been very excited about Senior Prom (tonight) and also graduation is on the 25th. I just feel so sad that he had his whole future ahead of him and was apparently very excited about it. Now what should be a fun, happy time for his classmates has become a very sad time. M says she will try to have fun at the prom but she certainly doesn't feel the same way about it now.

    My heart just feels sick when I think of what his parents and sister are going through. I kind of know his mom and I remember his sister spending time at our house--I can picture their faces, it's all I can think about. I feel so awful, so does M. We both feel an intense grief even though we are not close to this family.

    Anyway, Just wanted to check in with my board friends, I know you all can relate to this.

  2. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Aw Jane, how terribly tragic. Sending warm thoughs and prayers.

    It never fails...last day of school, prom nights, graduations. I know our district has lost a lot young adults on those occasions. I'm so sorry. Hugs~
  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I am sorry! It is so hard on a Senior class when someone amongst them dies. They are so close to that next stage in life where some dreams will start to come true as they face life on their own. This really opens their eyes to how fragile life is.
  4. jbrain

    jbrain Member

    what quick replies! You guys are so supportive, I so appreciate it. You are making me cry though :)!
  5. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Our schools have lost many classmates too. Though my kids have not personally experienced this, I do feel for you. The entire town feels the pain.
  6. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I am so sorry. It is difficult to deal with an event like this so close to major events. At my school we always have counseling available. I remember on young man died the day after the last day of school. I became the go to for the kids and his mom. Maybe M and her classmates can begin now to plan some sort of memorial for him. Pcson and his friend once did a memorial garden on the school grounds for a girl who had an undetected heart condition and died on homecoming night at a party. Over the years, each class that has lost a member has added to it.
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ohhhhhhhhhhh, that's so sad! How awful.
    My heart goes out to all of you, and the entire family. I cannot even imagine the pain.
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so very sorry. Give your kids an extra hug for me. You may want to see a therapist about how to help your kids through this. Or to help you with this.
  9. svengandhi

    svengandhi Well-Known Member

    As the parent of a senior and a graduate of last year's class, I worry about this alot. My town has been very fortunate in the past few years that we have had "only" one death of a kid in a car accident - it was a drunk driving accident in which a recent dropout killed a recent graduate. Both young men had been in last year's class.

    My friend's town has had several fatal accidents in the past couple of years. I think her town is closer to the expressway than mine.

    It's a horrible thing to even think about. My heart goes out to all of the families involved and to those who knew the child.
  10. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry. Since Miss KT just graduated, I worry about this a lot. Sending prayers for the family.
  11. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Gosh, there always seems to be tradegies like this. I'm so sorry.

    On a slightly different note, I've been reading/responding to my 30th high school reunion. One thing that really got me was the RIP page that listed a good 2 dozen people from my senior class that have passed. Some of it didn't surprise me...others shocked me. I had a long-time church/neighbor who battled luekemia all her life. She's gone now. Since I moved away I didn't know any of this going on.

    Hugs to difficult child as this will always be an event associated with something that was supposed to be so special.

  12. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911


    I am truly sorry for your loss. This has been an especially hard year it seems for many. My thoughts are with you, your kids and this boys family at this time. Wish I could just reach out and give you a real hug. Many prayers.

  13. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Jane I'm so sorry. Tragedies like this one hit so hard on everyone.

    Prayers for your family and the family of this child.

  14. jbrain

    jbrain Member

    Thanks again for all the heartfelt replies, I sure do appreciate them. Calling hours are Tuesday and the funeral is Wed. I told M if she wants to go to either or both I will go with her. I expect she will not want to go.

    She had fun at the prom Sat. night. She went with 3 other kids and they were a funny group. M's "date" was her friend who is a girl but she dressed up like a guy for the prom. She even bought a wrist corsage for M. One of the other girls was L, who is visiting from Ireland. Her aunt works in M's SEATS class (for kids with emotional problems) and she has been helping out. She is just the nicest girl ever and beautiful to boot. The other kid who went was J, who is in the SEATS class. He has been in foster care for 5 yrs and this past year was the 1st year he has spoken to anyone. L's aunt told M and L that if they could get him to go to the prom she would rent a limo for them. Well, they worked on him and got him to go so the 4 kids all got to ride in a limo to the prom.

    It really made me teary eyed to see them and to know that J was brave enough to go to the prom (apparently he was taken out of a severely abusive home) and that my dtr was kind enough to go with him. He looked so cute and awkward in his suit--it really got to me.

    Gotta go!

    Thanks all,
  15. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    Oh my Jane,
    That is SO sad...am very sorry for you and M's loss.
    Definitely thinking of what his parents must be going through right now too.

    Am glad to read that prom night was such a fun event.
    Stay well,