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General Parenting
difficult child 2 to be discharged Friday home; his twin in tears
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<blockquote data-quote="gcvmom" data-source="post: 461100" data-attributes="member: 3444"><p>I agree that sending easy child to school is best -- the fact that she has a lot of friends is great because she will need to lean on them for support, as much as kids that age can give it. Just being away from the chaos that difficult child 2 creates will be good for her. If there's a special friend she could spend the weekend with, I'd vote for seeing if that could be arranged.</p><p></p><p>Deescalation is very important when our difficult children are walking on such a fine line of stability. It takes a lot of extra effort on the parents' part to figure out what the trigger patterns are and a way to work around them. That's not to say they are avoidable, but there are usually ways to redirect and/or diffuse things before they get really ugly. Only you and wife will be able to sort that out by sitting down and really looking hard at what you've seen. </p><p></p><p>My husband took a long time to figure this out -- when difficult child 1 was starting to ramp up and become aggressive, husband's impulse was to meet it with yelling, intimidation and sometimes physical restraint, which was like pouring gasoline on the situation. At the time, he could easily overpower difficult child 1, but it made for a very protracted and emotionally charged situation and got everyone upset. He's slowly realized that he can't meet the raging bull head-on. </p><p></p><p>I hope you're able to regroup and feel ready for difficult child 2 when he comes home tomorrow. Praying for peace for you all!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gcvmom, post: 461100, member: 3444"] I agree that sending easy child to school is best -- the fact that she has a lot of friends is great because she will need to lean on them for support, as much as kids that age can give it. Just being away from the chaos that difficult child 2 creates will be good for her. If there's a special friend she could spend the weekend with, I'd vote for seeing if that could be arranged. Deescalation is very important when our difficult children are walking on such a fine line of stability. It takes a lot of extra effort on the parents' part to figure out what the trigger patterns are and a way to work around them. That's not to say they are avoidable, but there are usually ways to redirect and/or diffuse things before they get really ugly. Only you and wife will be able to sort that out by sitting down and really looking hard at what you've seen. My husband took a long time to figure this out -- when difficult child 1 was starting to ramp up and become aggressive, husband's impulse was to meet it with yelling, intimidation and sometimes physical restraint, which was like pouring gasoline on the situation. At the time, he could easily overpower difficult child 1, but it made for a very protracted and emotionally charged situation and got everyone upset. He's slowly realized that he can't meet the raging bull head-on. I hope you're able to regroup and feel ready for difficult child 2 when he comes home tomorrow. Praying for peace for you all! [/QUOTE]
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difficult child 2 to be discharged Friday home; his twin in tears
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