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Parent Emeritus
difficult child 23 y/o living with me again, problems....
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<blockquote data-quote="dashcat" data-source="post: 545323" data-attributes="member: 9175"><p>Bertie,</p><p>I feel your pain. I could have written what you wrote about being independant and single. I understand what it is like to go from an orderly home to chaos.</p><p></p><p>The abuse would be a deal breaker for me. I would tell him, during a calm and quiet time, that only he can control his temper but you can -and will - set limits on what you will take from him. Draw your line in the sand and don't budge.</p><p></p><p> My 21 year old daughter moved back with me in April. I do buy her treats from time to time, but I didn't keep junk food in the house while she was gone and I wasn't about to start shopping like I had a teenager in the house again. I don't cook every night, but there is always plenty of healthy food and leftovers. If she wants ice cream, most of the time she has to buy it. There's no reason for you to cater to his whims as far as food goes. </p><p></p><p>About the job ... while you cannot force someone to find a job - in any economy - you can certainly make sure he uses his time constructively. My difficult child is unemployed and I make her do things around the house. My porch railing and garage doors have been scraped, sanded and are now sporting a beautiful coat of sparkling white paint. She did a great job - and I've told her so. She is less than thrilled to be put to work around the INSIDE of the hosue, but -- sigh, ... too bad. </p><p></p><p>At 23, the free ride should be over. He will not like it , but he loves you and he WILL adjust. </p><p>dash</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dashcat, post: 545323, member: 9175"] Bertie, I feel your pain. I could have written what you wrote about being independant and single. I understand what it is like to go from an orderly home to chaos. The abuse would be a deal breaker for me. I would tell him, during a calm and quiet time, that only he can control his temper but you can -and will - set limits on what you will take from him. Draw your line in the sand and don't budge. My 21 year old daughter moved back with me in April. I do buy her treats from time to time, but I didn't keep junk food in the house while she was gone and I wasn't about to start shopping like I had a teenager in the house again. I don't cook every night, but there is always plenty of healthy food and leftovers. If she wants ice cream, most of the time she has to buy it. There's no reason for you to cater to his whims as far as food goes. About the job ... while you cannot force someone to find a job - in any economy - you can certainly make sure he uses his time constructively. My difficult child is unemployed and I make her do things around the house. My porch railing and garage doors have been scraped, sanded and are now sporting a beautiful coat of sparkling white paint. She did a great job - and I've told her so. She is less than thrilled to be put to work around the INSIDE of the hosue, but -- sigh, ... too bad. At 23, the free ride should be over. He will not like it , but he loves you and he WILL adjust. dash [/QUOTE]
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difficult child 23 y/o living with me again, problems....
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