difficult child 3 is leaving the U.S.A for Canada at 2 am to see her internet boyfriend
- Thread starter Rabbit
- Start date
Rabbit
Member
also if she marries him u can have dual citizenship with Canada and USA. There r so many ways that this could play out. difficult child 3 staying in Canada ; difficult child 3 getting hurt or killed: difficult child 3 breaking up with him and trying to hurt herself;illegal things; difficult child 3 could have a nice vacation and truly has found the love of her life.Etc difficult child# is very impulsive. Things could just work out fine. I hope I am making sense. Its a very difficult situation for me.
BusynMember
Well-Known Member
I know that difficult children don't make good decisions, but really there are not that many places to meet single people if you aren't in college anymore. It is a big complaint of anybody single. I understand your fear of her being in Canada, but it's not like she flew to China (be grateful for small things). The days of kids getting fixed up by their nice wholesome friends...don't seem to happen much anymore.
Hey, I hope she comes home safe and sound
And unmarried!!!!True story: Good friend's Aspie son, who was on SSDI but is a really nice person, cashed his SSDI check to fly to some Latin American country to visit and meet his "fiance." I have k nown this kid for a long time and though "Oh, boy. What an impulsive and crazy thing to do and the country isn't safe." He went, stayed there a while, got married, now they are back in the US and still married about ten years now. Happily.
There r so many ways that this could play out. difficult child 3 staying in Canada ; difficult child 3 getting hurt or killed: difficult child 3 breaking up with him and trying to hurt herself;illegal things; difficult child 3 could have a nice vacation and truly has found the love of her life.Etc difficult child# is very impulsive. Things could just work out fine. I hope I am making sense. Its a very difficult situation for me.
Rabbit, all those possible outcomes rolling around in your head can make us parents go insane with the choices our difficult child's make, I think most of us here have lived in that fear place, it's just horrible, I'm sorry. What helps me is to place my daughter in the hands of a Higher Power, surround her with love and say a prayer that she stays safe and is guided to the right choices. Then I usually take a few minutes and meditate, let go, say a prayer for me that this weight of worry and fear is lifted off of me. I take deep breaths and go do something like take a long walk to shift the energy. Then when the relentless worry thoughts begin to resurface, I do not go with them, I notice them, observe them and push them out of my head. They are thoughts of fear which can immobilize me if I allow them to take root. Over quite some time, my brain is conditioned now to (still) have the fear thoughts, but my mind doesn't dwell on them, they come and go pretty quickly.
There is evidence from scientific sources which shows us that fear actually digs a new neuropathway within our brains when it is continuous. So, when you think of your daughter, your brain slips immediately into fear.................the good news is that with "training" like I just mentioned to you, you can circumvent that ditch of fear and have our brains reroute to a different pathway where we are not enveloped in fears of horrible "what ifs" that could befall our children. It's a practice, like meditation, we get better at it over time.
I know how difficult this time is for you. If it feels right to you, practice shifting your thoughts out of the fear, it helps, truly. It's is so difficult to have kids of any age who make poor choices which can lead them to danger, for us as parents, it can be a nightmare..............however, most times our fears are not realized (thank G-d) and we spend all that time of OUR lives in that worry place.................if you can, learn to just not go there..............many gentle hugs being sent to you Rabbit......................
Rabbit, all those possible outcomes rolling around in your head can make us parents go insane with the choices our difficult child's make, I think most of us here have lived in that fear place, it's just horrible, I'm sorry. What helps me is to place my daughter in the hands of a Higher Power, surround her with love and say a prayer that she stays safe and is guided to the right choices. Then I usually take a few minutes and meditate, let go, say a prayer for me that this weight of worry and fear is lifted off of me. I take deep breaths and go do something like take a long walk to shift the energy. Then when the relentless worry thoughts begin to resurface, I do not go with them, I notice them, observe them and push them out of my head. They are thoughts of fear which can immobilize me if I allow them to take root. Over quite some time, my brain is conditioned now to (still) have the fear thoughts, but my mind doesn't dwell on them, they come and go pretty quickly.
There is evidence from scientific sources which shows us that fear actually digs a new neuropathway within our brains when it is continuous. So, when you think of your daughter, your brain slips immediately into fear.................the good news is that with "training" like I just mentioned to you, you can circumvent that ditch of fear and have our brains reroute to a different pathway where we are not enveloped in fears of horrible "what ifs" that could befall our children. It's a practice, like meditation, we get better at it over time.
I know how difficult this time is for you. If it feels right to you, practice shifting your thoughts out of the fear, it helps, truly. It's is so difficult to have kids of any age who make poor choices which can lead them to danger, for us as parents, it can be a nightmare..............however, most times our fears are not realized (thank G-d) and we spend all that time of OUR lives in that worry place.................if you can, learn to just not go there..............many gentle hugs being sent to you Rabbit......................
