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Parent Emeritus
difficult child 3 is moving out,my mommy heart is hurting but its seems to be the right thing.
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<blockquote data-quote="gsingjane" data-source="post: 582704" data-attributes="member: 15986"><p>Hi Rabbit! I'm so sorry to hear that things have come to this pass.</p><p></p><p>A couple of thoughts I had - first, I wonder to what extent the urge to have a getaway with Mr. Canada is driving all this. I'm amazed, consistently, at how our kids permit their short-term considerations (I want to have privacy to be with my boyfriend) to trump any kind of logic or reality, not to mention long-term considerations.</p><p></p><p>Second, it also seems that even if your difficult child somehow figures this all out - works 80 hours a week - talks some landlord into renting to her - how limiting this will be for her future advancement. For at least the next year, she will be locked into working crazy hours, not advancing her education, not moving on with her life, all to be able to afford her own apartment. Not that this should be dispositive, but there are very, very few 19 year olds these days who can afford a place all to themselves. It isn't as if this is "the norm" or something that she should feel comes in due course.</p><p></p><p>We are co-signed to our difficult child's student loans. There was no other way he could go to school, but I have to tell you, it will limit our financial options for years to come. When difficult child asked us to guarantee an apartment lease for him, we said no - primarily because we knew he'd walk away on it and leave us holding the bag, with no guilt or compunctions whatsoever. I don't know if your difficult child is as cold and careless as ours, but if she is - watch out!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gsingjane, post: 582704, member: 15986"] Hi Rabbit! I'm so sorry to hear that things have come to this pass. A couple of thoughts I had - first, I wonder to what extent the urge to have a getaway with Mr. Canada is driving all this. I'm amazed, consistently, at how our kids permit their short-term considerations (I want to have privacy to be with my boyfriend) to trump any kind of logic or reality, not to mention long-term considerations. Second, it also seems that even if your difficult child somehow figures this all out - works 80 hours a week - talks some landlord into renting to her - how limiting this will be for her future advancement. For at least the next year, she will be locked into working crazy hours, not advancing her education, not moving on with her life, all to be able to afford her own apartment. Not that this should be dispositive, but there are very, very few 19 year olds these days who can afford a place all to themselves. It isn't as if this is "the norm" or something that she should feel comes in due course. We are co-signed to our difficult child's student loans. There was no other way he could go to school, but I have to tell you, it will limit our financial options for years to come. When difficult child asked us to guarantee an apartment lease for him, we said no - primarily because we knew he'd walk away on it and leave us holding the bag, with no guilt or compunctions whatsoever. I don't know if your difficult child is as cold and careless as ours, but if she is - watch out! [/QUOTE]
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difficult child 3 is moving out,my mommy heart is hurting but its seems to be the right thing.
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