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Parent Emeritus
difficult child 3 is moving out,my mommy heart is hurting but its seems to be the right thing.
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<blockquote data-quote="gsingjane" data-source="post: 582858" data-attributes="member: 15986"><p>I know this may sound a bit presumptuous and certainly I'm not in possession of the history and the facts with your difficult child... so please take this FWIW which may be nothing for all I know! </p><p></p><p>As recovering noted, it sounds like your daughter is very strong-willed and can be extremely motivated and focused when there's a goal she wants to attain. These are excellent qualities for future success, although, as I'm sure you've also seen, they can be harmful when focused like a laser beam on the wrong goal!</p><p></p><p>Do you have any sense of her eventual goals? Would she like to graduate from a 4-year college someday? Does she aspire to a profession or a job that requires training and qualifications? The reason I ask is, she seems to be taking a very scattershot, short-term approach to her progress now. (Don't they all?) The idea of getting locked into an apartment lease, requiring a giant number of weekly work hours, would seem to crowd out any ability to progress towards more education. What concerns me, as I'm sure it does you, is that kids can "bump along" for years and years like this, and then all of a sudden there's a marriage, or baby, or a mortgage, or any number of other conditions that make it very hard to continue to make progress. The person turns 30 and is locked in, resentful and frustrated.</p><p></p><p>I also understand that Mr. Canada may not even survive a face-to-face meeting. (Let us hope so!). It does definitely sound like the relationship, such as it is, is driving the train at the moment. But, it might be worthwhile to try and figure out where else the train might be headed...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="gsingjane, post: 582858, member: 15986"] I know this may sound a bit presumptuous and certainly I'm not in possession of the history and the facts with your difficult child... so please take this FWIW which may be nothing for all I know! As recovering noted, it sounds like your daughter is very strong-willed and can be extremely motivated and focused when there's a goal she wants to attain. These are excellent qualities for future success, although, as I'm sure you've also seen, they can be harmful when focused like a laser beam on the wrong goal! Do you have any sense of her eventual goals? Would she like to graduate from a 4-year college someday? Does she aspire to a profession or a job that requires training and qualifications? The reason I ask is, she seems to be taking a very scattershot, short-term approach to her progress now. (Don't they all?) The idea of getting locked into an apartment lease, requiring a giant number of weekly work hours, would seem to crowd out any ability to progress towards more education. What concerns me, as I'm sure it does you, is that kids can "bump along" for years and years like this, and then all of a sudden there's a marriage, or baby, or a mortgage, or any number of other conditions that make it very hard to continue to make progress. The person turns 30 and is locked in, resentful and frustrated. I also understand that Mr. Canada may not even survive a face-to-face meeting. (Let us hope so!). It does definitely sound like the relationship, such as it is, is driving the train at the moment. But, it might be worthwhile to try and figure out where else the train might be headed... [/QUOTE]
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difficult child 3 is moving out,my mommy heart is hurting but its seems to be the right thing.
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