difficult child and easy child blow me away.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by susiestar, Mar 20, 2009.

  1. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am totally amazed by my older kids. By all of them really, but esp by the relationship between Jessie and Wiz. Those of you who were here remember my horror at the abuse she endured while hiding it from husband and I. He did horrible things to her, and she never hurt him back. She just would NOT. She didn't want him to hurt any more is what she always told me.

    I was talking with Jessie tonight and she told me that she and Wiz talk at least weekly. He is again having dreams where he relives the things that he did to Jessie and I. Reliving not only his actions but ALL the thoughts, fears, etc... that were behind them. It is in dreams that he relives, but it seems so very real to him for a while after he wakes up.

    She happened to call shortly after a dream this week (he had taken a nap - it is spring break here). She reassures him after these dreams that NONE of us blame him. We love him, totally forgive him and understand the WHY behind his actions. She told me she knows me well enough she could tell him I love him and am NOT angry or upset with him over the past - without coming to ask me each time. We have worked a LOT together on this, esp after 2 tdocs who deal with-PTSD primarily in their practice encouraged me to talk through MY feelings with her because it would help her examine HER feelings and figure them out. So we worked with them together.

    Now she never hesitates to let him know just how much we love him, how much we do NOT want him to beat himself up over the past.

    I am incredibly touched that they are this close. It truly is a dream come true for me. One I really thought I had to let go of long ago.

    He can open up to her, she opens up to him, and they are now talking through this stuff together. And neither one doubts my love, even after all the abuse and horror.

    Your kids can come through this too. If mine can come from Wiz trying to kill Jessie and physically abusing her in horrible ways to where they are working through feelings together, being supportive siblings to each other, well, miracles can happen to any of our kids.

    They never stop blowing me away. I am truly blessed with them.
     
  2. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wow Susie, I would be proud too if I were their mom!

    Those are two great kids (well, they are always kids to us aren't they?). The fact that they have gotten to a place where they can discuss the events, share their emotions, and still end a conversation with, "I love you" is truly unconditional love at it's best.

    You have every right to be very proud and humbled by your two great kids.

    Sharon
     
  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Susie,
    This brought tears to my eyes. How wonderful and hopeful. Thank you so much for sharing this.
     
  4. ML

    ML Guest

    This is the stuff healing is made of. These amazing kids truly take after their mom. You all inspire me so much. Thank you. Love, ML
     
  5. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Susie, my difficult child was a lot like Wiz and Jana, a lot like Jess---I swear I think we live in a parallel universe sometime----only in the last few years have I seen Tripp begin to take a brotherly attitude toward Jana. He worries about her---even though occasionally the old flashes of jealousy show up----It is nice to see their relationship begin to develop.
     
  6. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    A true testament to what CAN be. Thanks for sharing!
     
  7. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Amazing
    You are amazing and your family is.
    Beautiful
     
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