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difficult child and friends??
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 35592" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>While it is understandable to make our kids responsible for their friends' behaviour, I do think t hat especially when our kids are deficient in social skills this is simply too harsh and unworkable.</p><p></p><p>difficult child wants friends really badly. These kids were a pair, and three is a bad number, especially when one is a vulnerable difficult child with poor social skills. Sounds like these two boys walked right over him and trashed his space deliberately. </p><p></p><p>I WOULD be calling the parents, and I WOULDN'T be too hard on difficult child. I WOULD use it as a reason in the future to not only prevent more than one visitor at a time, but to also insist on staying to supervise. You got caught unawares this time, but I wouldn't let myself be caught again.</p><p></p><p>He IS only 12, and an immature 12 at that. Go easy on him. What he's been through is probably worse than you realise and is certainly punishment enough, if punishment is even called for. He's been physically attacked, which is illegal. That's just for a start; then there's the vandalism to your property - if difficult child were the type to do this, he wouldn't need friends around to vandalise your and his property.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 1 had 'friends' like this, including one boy from a very good home with whom he had been firm friends for some time. Then this boy, anxious to get in good with another group of 'friends', set up difficult child 1 very nastily. About the same age as your boy, too.</p><p></p><p>I think your son needs your support right now, not your anger (directed at him). And also, by supporting him you're more likely to find out more details about what really happened - very important, I feel.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 35592, member: 1991"] While it is understandable to make our kids responsible for their friends' behaviour, I do think t hat especially when our kids are deficient in social skills this is simply too harsh and unworkable. difficult child wants friends really badly. These kids were a pair, and three is a bad number, especially when one is a vulnerable difficult child with poor social skills. Sounds like these two boys walked right over him and trashed his space deliberately. I WOULD be calling the parents, and I WOULDN'T be too hard on difficult child. I WOULD use it as a reason in the future to not only prevent more than one visitor at a time, but to also insist on staying to supervise. You got caught unawares this time, but I wouldn't let myself be caught again. He IS only 12, and an immature 12 at that. Go easy on him. What he's been through is probably worse than you realise and is certainly punishment enough, if punishment is even called for. He's been physically attacked, which is illegal. That's just for a start; then there's the vandalism to your property - if difficult child were the type to do this, he wouldn't need friends around to vandalise your and his property. difficult child 1 had 'friends' like this, including one boy from a very good home with whom he had been firm friends for some time. Then this boy, anxious to get in good with another group of 'friends', set up difficult child 1 very nastily. About the same age as your boy, too. I think your son needs your support right now, not your anger (directed at him). And also, by supporting him you're more likely to find out more details about what really happened - very important, I feel. Marg [/QUOTE]
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