difficult child and therapist

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jena, Apr 7, 2011.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member


    i had to share this, rewiring this kid is unlike anything i've ever been thru :)

    the cbt is full force now, he's pushing hard this new therapist because he knows he can with her. Yet being in the office is totally different than her "applying" these things at home.

    his aim basically is to make her as uncomfortable as possible regarding any anxiety anything she feels. he said when we take our kids out of the anxiety, make provisions for them etc. at home we let them continue to do "avoidance" of the anxiety itself, we feed into it and we never kick it's butt.

    difficult child sat there today and said i'm scared to do this, that etc. he said but you can do it. what's worst that will happen and they went down the list..... so each day she writes in her book x number of situations where she had either distorted thinking, or fearful etc. and she has to change those thoughts.

    now our new plan is she has to complete 2 nights this week whereas she doesnt' bother me, harrass me, give me a headache as she's done again tongiht and just lay in her bed and try to sleep he's allowing radio on this week. we've also come to learn she doesnt like silence. he said the name of the game now is if your afraid to do it, than you have to do it! we got into her hoarding today, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), etc. he said all based on fear which comes from anxiety. so we're going down the list of issues.

    he's a good guy, went out and bought her and i both chocolates from a chocolate shoppe on the block. he bribes her now, says if you do the work i'll have a surprise waiting for you.

    he's estimating 3 mos till she feels relief at all if she does the work. yet no joke it's so hard because she's so defiant. to take a shower is 40 min thing.

    he said alot of ppl are diagnosis'd with all sorts of disorders that all stem from anxiety. he said alot of the time and not all, if the anxiety is conquered the other diagnosis's drift away. he said we've all become accustomed to making provisions for our kids, etc. which i agree with-to an extent. he said yet it also teaches them avoidance of the anxiety.

    interesting right??
  2. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    As long as it works for her, that's all that matters.
  3. Jena

    Jena New Member

    we'll c....... :)
  4. Josie

    Josie Active Member

    That is exactly what B had to do, when we did CBT for her. Hers was more focused on one Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) area, but she had to actually feel the fear and do it anyway. If the fear is minimized too much, it doesn't work. They have to see that they can be anxious and deal with it. Once they do it enough times, the anxiety goes away or is at least minimized enough that it isn't a big deal.

    Her therapist wanted it to be uncomfortable for her, but not overwhelming.

    We have done the CBT over 2 issues and neither one of them bother her at all any more.

    I could never get her to do her exposures at home and had to get the therapist to come to our house more often. He came to the house since her issues were at our house and he did the exposures with her. She had to deliberately imagine the worst case scenario and feel the fear and see that it went away.

    We watched the show "Obsessed" when she was doing her CBT. I think it helped her to see other people with similar issues suffering through their exposures, too.

    It isn't easy, but it did work for my daughter.
  5. ML

    ML Guest

    I haven't read responses. But I realize that all the years I tried to "help" manster with his anxiety I only made it worse. The hardest thing I had to realize was that I could not rescue him from this pain and to try was to make him only more dependent on me. I liken it to the person who loses a limb or sight, etc. They have to strengthen their other senses to compensate. The only way they do that is to fall and learn how to get back up. CBT is great. You are on the right track! Good luck.
  6. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Sounds like a plan. I have no experience, thank heavens, with excessive anxiety. No old war stories to share, lol. I wish her good luck. One thing that did pop in my mind, however, is how you are going to find a radio station that doesn't include "scary" stuff. Around here we have few radio choices and all of them include music followed by "today another earthquake hit Japan killing x and injuring y. etc. etc.". Hope you have a light all music station available! DDD
  7. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hope i know you told me that, i think it's great that it was able to help your daughter that way. we aren't at that level yet the exposure stuff. we'll c this guy seems to think he can nail it. his enthusiasm alone has me hooked.
  8. Josie

    Josie Active Member

    I think that laying in her bed without harassing you might be an exposure, even if he isn't calling it that. If she is going to feel anxious and have to cope with it.

    If he is telling her she is afraid of something and has to do it anyway, that is the same principle as an exposure.

    Maybe the exposures approach is different in that they are planned and repeated deliberately repeated over and over again.

    Anyway, I meant my post to say that it seems like he is taking mostly the same approach that worked with my daughter. I didn't mean to imply that he wasn't doing the same type of thing, if that is how you took it.
  9. Jena

    Jena New Member

    hope ........... hi, i'm sorry i didn't misunderstand i was just typing while dealing here on my end with difficult child and the tutor suddenly showing up...... lol shouldn't multi task sometimes :)

    i totally get what you mean though. i am also taking her off the zyprexa, i have to her weights' way too high. sh'es gained 50 lbs since admitting her into hospital in portland. her weights at 135lb. now. not a healthy weight. none of her clothes fit at all, and for a girl who is healthy and 115 is appropriate weight as per doctor shes now officially way overweight and she wont stop eating.

    i''m so happy she is i gotta admit i still smile when she does. yet doctor was like umm Jen way too high and it's mostly the medication. i said yup i know im barely containing it by walking her with the dogs twice a day
  10. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    OH WOW, 50 lbs since Portland? That's frightening. If she won't stop eating... Which is an extreme the other direction... She has to learn MODERATION. So... Find stuff that's super filling yet small, apples are great for this... Fiber is great, one of the reasons I eat Shredded Wheat in my yogurt. (Besides, I have to have texture... It's slimy otherwise.)
  11. Jena

    Jena New Member

    i was just logging off and saw you...... yea that's wild, right?? i'm so thrilled shes' healthy yet oh man if we dont' watch her 24/7 she's hiding food in room, under pillow, sneaks out when we're all asleep, im peeing. you name it. yup we cleared cabinets out, hide cookies and stuff in my room. she'll fill up on anything.

    its' also alot of the medication. zyprexa puts weight on bigtime. we went thru this with seroquel yet not to the same extent. she's eating 3 meals a day and a snack at night and one in afternoon. yet before zyprexa that wasnt' a problem, not it is. im tapering down, nervous yet tapering down to 2.5 mg tongiht and adding in lamictal at 14mg. hate hate medication changes......... :)