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difficult child at PRTC doing very badly..
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 74377" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Honey, you said it yourself, "My husband and I know she needs this program."</p><p></p><p>She is trying to yank any chain she can, as apparently the staff are not giving her whatever it is she wants.</p><p></p><p>Our kids, regardless of home life, tend to be superior manipulators. My own difficult child is absolutely AMAZING in the way he can find to manipulate others. </p><p></p><p>Right now she has you thinking about pulling her out and sending her to a less secure facility. Presumably a less secure facility will give her more freedoms. More tv, junk food, friend time, or whatever she is wanting.</p><p></p><p>And in a less secure facility she will be able to wrangle whatever she desires, or so she is thinking.</p><p></p><p>Does she have concrete examples of the behaviors she is learning? Can staff back up that she is in fact showing these behaviors? She certainly has the language down. What can she show you to PROVE that she has these "new" behaviors? Are they truly new, or just stuff she can no longer hide?</p><p></p><p>No matter the home, it is pretty easy to hide lots of things from parents. Maybe if each family came with 2 parents for each kid, and one parent could follow the kid at all times, maybe then the kid could truly not hide behaviors. But, even then, kids would learn how to sneak and hide stuff.</p><p></p><p>What message will you be sending her if you take her out of there? That she can manipulate her way out of most anything? I would be very leary of taking her out, esp because you may then find it almost impossible to get this level of help for her again.</p><p></p><p>I do wonder, and this thought just hit me, what she is working on with her therapist or in group therapy right now. Maybe something has touched a nerve, made her realize that she has some problem or responsibility for a problem that she does not want to admit?</p><p></p><p>She had 9 hospitalizations in 12 months. This means she NEEDS help, big-time help, and she may not want all that "help" involves. It is really hard work to face yourself. </p><p></p><p>She may have some new behaviors that she learned at the hospital. And they may not be what you wanted her to learn. But the staff will probably have some idea of what is going on.</p><p></p><p>I strongly advise you to talk to her therapist, psychiatrist, and if at all possible one or more nurses involved in her care. See what they have to say before you get too upset.</p><p></p><p>It is so hard when our kids hurt so much.</p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p></p><p>Susie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 74377, member: 1233"] Honey, you said it yourself, "My husband and I know she needs this program." She is trying to yank any chain she can, as apparently the staff are not giving her whatever it is she wants. Our kids, regardless of home life, tend to be superior manipulators. My own difficult child is absolutely AMAZING in the way he can find to manipulate others. Right now she has you thinking about pulling her out and sending her to a less secure facility. Presumably a less secure facility will give her more freedoms. More tv, junk food, friend time, or whatever she is wanting. And in a less secure facility she will be able to wrangle whatever she desires, or so she is thinking. Does she have concrete examples of the behaviors she is learning? Can staff back up that she is in fact showing these behaviors? She certainly has the language down. What can she show you to PROVE that she has these "new" behaviors? Are they truly new, or just stuff she can no longer hide? No matter the home, it is pretty easy to hide lots of things from parents. Maybe if each family came with 2 parents for each kid, and one parent could follow the kid at all times, maybe then the kid could truly not hide behaviors. But, even then, kids would learn how to sneak and hide stuff. What message will you be sending her if you take her out of there? That she can manipulate her way out of most anything? I would be very leary of taking her out, esp because you may then find it almost impossible to get this level of help for her again. I do wonder, and this thought just hit me, what she is working on with her therapist or in group therapy right now. Maybe something has touched a nerve, made her realize that she has some problem or responsibility for a problem that she does not want to admit? She had 9 hospitalizations in 12 months. This means she NEEDS help, big-time help, and she may not want all that "help" involves. It is really hard work to face yourself. She may have some new behaviors that she learned at the hospital. And they may not be what you wanted her to learn. But the staff will probably have some idea of what is going on. I strongly advise you to talk to her therapist, psychiatrist, and if at all possible one or more nurses involved in her care. See what they have to say before you get too upset. It is so hard when our kids hurt so much. Hugs, Susie [/QUOTE]
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difficult child at PRTC doing very badly..
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