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difficult child back in prison
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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 271396" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p>Suz, I should be used to this by now but every time it happens the people who send him back go on and on about how they are justified in their actions and seem to totally miss the point that he is mentally ill and the behaviors they are taking issue with are due to his illness. Then when I point it out they get huffy and defensive. Each time I come away I feel like I have been misunderstood and brutilized. So if I feel this way I have to ask how does difficult child feel? I mean I know that it is his consequences for his "poor choices" but when he hasn't been able to project or process consequences his entire life and it is well documented and the "pros" in the mental health system still expect him to... well I can see him feeling like he is being treated unfairly. I'm not stinking thinking here, I just sort of feel like I understand his thought process. so each time they loose credibility in his eyes. When he was an adolesent he once broke down and cried because he told me he just didn't "know how to be good". He really tries but people just don't see that and because he is so good at bluffing is very handsome and appears normal they always think he is capable of way more than he is. </p><p> </p><p>EW, When he gets out it will all be on me. There will be no system just me again. It does seem like that is what they have always wanted. It will take me the year to figure out a plan of action. difficult child cannot function without support and now he will not want any system benefits. All he will want is to be free of all of this. Maybe he will continue AA. He was going daily and he was sober. Case worker seemd to resent that he went to that and didn't participate in group. He commited no crimes, just not able to budget his money and did some impulsive spending. He had a couple of temper tantrums where he mouthed off to the staff but didn't get physical or break anything. All the behaviors are consistent with his MH history.</p><p> </p><p>Janet I agree that the stories need to be heard but no one listens. I am too tired trying to help him manage his own life to be beating down doors trying to get legislation that will treat mental health patients with more compassion and appropriate means. We need a celebrity personality to advocate for them. </p><p> </p><p>Witz, I hear you and I am sure they are wanting him off their books but they are also thinking that with probation he will never get out of the system. I agree with that. Maxing him out is the only way he will be able to start over fresh. </p><p> </p><p>The system took me out of the mix entirely. They repeatly tried to get me to take him back home and when I refused they let him sit in jail for months thinking that I would relent and take him back. He was out of control and I'm alone most of the time, so I refused. So they put him in programs that didn't want or ask for my imput. That was wrong. They all thought they knew what he needed and could do better than the woman who raised him up and kept him safe for 18 years. It is pure arrogance on their part. Unfortunately many in the mental health care field are difficult child's themselves. I mean here they were telling a mother they sent her mentally ill son back to prison because he didn't work the program. Yet they never told me that he was failing and made me listen to all the reasons why they are in the right and how I haven't a clue about what he is capable of achieving. They on the other hand do after only 6 months. It is pure bunk and I believe the caseworker was defensive because on some level she knew it. And then the act about me yelling, what was that? in my opinion it was just a person with a guilty conscience trying to appear in a better light to her collegues. And to top it off she tried to tell me that she didn't have his MH history when I personally brought it over to them the first week he was there. She's lying to cover her behind and when I called her on it she got nasty. I hope she looses alot of sleep over this I really do. Any witches out there that can cast a warty spell on her? <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" />-RM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 271396, member: 2315"] Suz, I should be used to this by now but every time it happens the people who send him back go on and on about how they are justified in their actions and seem to totally miss the point that he is mentally ill and the behaviors they are taking issue with are due to his illness. Then when I point it out they get huffy and defensive. Each time I come away I feel like I have been misunderstood and brutilized. So if I feel this way I have to ask how does difficult child feel? I mean I know that it is his consequences for his "poor choices" but when he hasn't been able to project or process consequences his entire life and it is well documented and the "pros" in the mental health system still expect him to... well I can see him feeling like he is being treated unfairly. I'm not stinking thinking here, I just sort of feel like I understand his thought process. so each time they loose credibility in his eyes. When he was an adolesent he once broke down and cried because he told me he just didn't "know how to be good". He really tries but people just don't see that and because he is so good at bluffing is very handsome and appears normal they always think he is capable of way more than he is. EW, When he gets out it will all be on me. There will be no system just me again. It does seem like that is what they have always wanted. It will take me the year to figure out a plan of action. difficult child cannot function without support and now he will not want any system benefits. All he will want is to be free of all of this. Maybe he will continue AA. He was going daily and he was sober. Case worker seemd to resent that he went to that and didn't participate in group. He commited no crimes, just not able to budget his money and did some impulsive spending. He had a couple of temper tantrums where he mouthed off to the staff but didn't get physical or break anything. All the behaviors are consistent with his MH history. Janet I agree that the stories need to be heard but no one listens. I am too tired trying to help him manage his own life to be beating down doors trying to get legislation that will treat mental health patients with more compassion and appropriate means. We need a celebrity personality to advocate for them. Witz, I hear you and I am sure they are wanting him off their books but they are also thinking that with probation he will never get out of the system. I agree with that. Maxing him out is the only way he will be able to start over fresh. The system took me out of the mix entirely. They repeatly tried to get me to take him back home and when I refused they let him sit in jail for months thinking that I would relent and take him back. He was out of control and I'm alone most of the time, so I refused. So they put him in programs that didn't want or ask for my imput. That was wrong. They all thought they knew what he needed and could do better than the woman who raised him up and kept him safe for 18 years. It is pure arrogance on their part. Unfortunately many in the mental health care field are difficult child's themselves. I mean here they were telling a mother they sent her mentally ill son back to prison because he didn't work the program. Yet they never told me that he was failing and made me listen to all the reasons why they are in the right and how I haven't a clue about what he is capable of achieving. They on the other hand do after only 6 months. It is pure bunk and I believe the caseworker was defensive because on some level she knew it. And then the act about me yelling, what was that? in my opinion it was just a person with a guilty conscience trying to appear in a better light to her collegues. And to top it off she tried to tell me that she didn't have his MH history when I personally brought it over to them the first week he was there. She's lying to cover her behind and when I called her on it she got nasty. I hope she looses alot of sleep over this I really do. Any witches out there that can cast a warty spell on her? ;)-RM [/QUOTE]
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