HereWeGoAgain
Grandpa
difficult child is in the hospital detoxing. She called my parents a few days ago, and they picked her up and took her to the ER, where she stayed until she was admitted to the Behavioral Health unit. Now she's looking for a place to go when the hospital discharges her. The sober house she applied to a couple of months ago won't take her now.
My mother says she "seems to have free access to the phone and stays busy calling the many numbers she has in her memory bank." One of her calls was to wife. I'm told that difficult child complained about her lack of options for post-hospital placements; she trotted out her now-standard line about "I refuse to be institutionalized for the rest of my life!" At that my wife lost it, and a shouting match ensued which ended with wife yelling "You're dead to me!" and hanging up. Yeah, that was over the top, but I don't blame her much. Of course I wish she would not have answered the phone at all or, having picked up, would've said "I'm sure you'll figure something out" or one of those other great lines. wife feels terribly guilty, but she has talked to my mom and her counselor about it and feels like the best thing is to avoid talking to difficult child or fretting about her as much as possible - in other words, detachment. Bravo!
difficult child called her grandmother right after that, crying about how awful her mom was. Grandmother's response was, stop calling her and tormenting her. Then when difficult child started to recount her sufferings, her g-mother told her to get off the pity pot, because she wasn't interested.
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Now for the good news - wife and I are taking easy child 1 and a friend on a 10-day VC trip to the beach, leaving Saturday!
It'll be like that "detachment summer camp" you all are talking about.
The other good news - I have had two interviews for a job back home and looks like I might get an offer; if so we can be a nuclear family again (wife, easy child 1 and me, and easy child son 2 until he gets his own place - he has got a new job with very good pay and benefits, so hopefully it'll be pretty soon.)
My mother says she "seems to have free access to the phone and stays busy calling the many numbers she has in her memory bank." One of her calls was to wife. I'm told that difficult child complained about her lack of options for post-hospital placements; she trotted out her now-standard line about "I refuse to be institutionalized for the rest of my life!" At that my wife lost it, and a shouting match ensued which ended with wife yelling "You're dead to me!" and hanging up. Yeah, that was over the top, but I don't blame her much. Of course I wish she would not have answered the phone at all or, having picked up, would've said "I'm sure you'll figure something out" or one of those other great lines. wife feels terribly guilty, but she has talked to my mom and her counselor about it and feels like the best thing is to avoid talking to difficult child or fretting about her as much as possible - in other words, detachment. Bravo!
difficult child called her grandmother right after that, crying about how awful her mom was. Grandmother's response was, stop calling her and tormenting her. Then when difficult child started to recount her sufferings, her g-mother told her to get off the pity pot, because she wasn't interested.
======================================
Now for the good news - wife and I are taking easy child 1 and a friend on a 10-day VC trip to the beach, leaving Saturday!
It'll be like that "detachment summer camp" you all are talking about. The other good news - I have had two interviews for a job back home and looks like I might get an offer; if so we can be a nuclear family again (wife, easy child 1 and me, and easy child son 2 until he gets his own place - he has got a new job with very good pay and benefits, so hopefully it'll be pretty soon.)
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