And I am so scared. He stole my Klonipin and downed 8 of them because I stupidly left them on the counter for one minute. I did not know until he had stolen ANY of them until he had this sort of psychotic reaction. It took me hours to figure out what had happened exactly, and at first he told me he only had 1, then 3, and then he went bonkers. Grandiose, violent, and extremely suicidal. Extremely. He also stole what he thought was Vicodin, but was actually an anti nasuea medication, Zofran. He swears he did not take them, but I think he did. I am the worst mom. I just fought back last night with him, instead of calming him down. I said mean horrible things, I was so scared, and yet I knew if I called 911 then I would have to spend the next week in the hospital dealing with those idiots. Plus I could not figure out what or how much he had taken until 8 hours later. How stupid that I could not just pick up the phone. Then he gets up this morning, threatening suicide even more. And I still do not know what to do. I have been through this so many times with him........I am almost numb to it all. I don't want to do the useless hospital thing that leads nowhere every time. I don't want the psychiatrist to tell me the same **** every time. I don't want him to die. I don't want to live this way. Thanks for listening. Everything had been so stable with difficult child. And now the entire bottom falls out from underneath us!!!!!!! H dead, harassment and retaliation at work, not getting along with my family, and now difficult child has gone off the deep again. Last night was the nail in the coffin. Somethings gotta give, or I am going under. God, please give me the strength. Yes, all medications will be locked from now on. How stupid was I to leave my medication on the counter. Perhaps it was because I was having a panic attack in the middle of the night, and I forgot to put it safely back away?