It's happened again, a rerun of May 2008. difficult child texted both me and daughter in the wee hours this morning having obviously been drinking, saying he was cutting himself and so sorry and life wasn't worth living etc. etc. I called him and went over as his girlfriend was working third shift. He'd texted her at work so she was all worried and trying to get someone to come and cover for her, but no luck at 2 am. He'd cut up both forearms extensively but superficially; nothing that needed stitching. He'd clotted over before I even got there. He was tearful and completely despondent, and every new idea or sentence would put him into a fresh bout of tears. I knew if I called crisis or took him to ER they'd want him to sleep off the alcohol before doing anything, so I took him home for the night until his girlfriend got off work. His girlfriend is a sweetie. I feel bad for her. She's older than he is and clearly really wants to be with someone who is affectionate toward her. He is also very dependent on her. She told us he'd stayed drunk for two weeks when he turned 21, and in the past week he's had panic attacks again when he's been drinking. He quit his new cleaning job after a week and didn't tell us, though he told girlfriend that he had. He's been doing odd jobs around our property for extra cash and not even managing much with that. He always says he's had no sleep, that he feels unwell, his stomach is upset, his muscles are sore, he's so stressed etc. He always looks terrible; unshaven, hair unkempt, he's gained a lot of weight (used to look like a Marine), looks so 'off' that I know no one would hire him. Even the car wash in town turned him down and kept advertising. He still seems not all there mentally. I wish he could have some neuropsychologist testing done. I think the results would be revealing if upsetting. But for now, he's still asleep downstairs, he's depressed, anxious, likely to have panic attacks when he wakes up (judging from past experience), and is unable to get or hold a job. He keeps saying he's trying, and cries about being a failure, not being able to support himself, feeling so stressed etc. He won't consider medications after his bad experiences last year (weird manic behaviors that almost got him arrested and lost him two jobs; acute dystonic reaction that was excruciatingly painful). I hope to find someone in our area who will work with him ... but our very small town is very limited in resources. I wouldn't be surprised if he was doing more than just drinking, though his girlfriend insists not. She is not a drinker or user. I'm starting to think he should apply for SSDI (?) - disability. He honestly doesn't seem able to hold a job, even working for us. He isn't being hostile or obstructive. I'll have to get looking around to find out about how to apply, but has anyone here had experience with this? How long or difficult a process is it?