difficult child broke up with-his girlfriend; chaos

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, Jan 18, 2014.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    They've been together for a year and 4 months. That's amazing for two difficult children!
    She spent the night at a friend's house and apparently he was so lonely, he texted or called her too much, and said something stupid and she said she's just had it, and that she didn't feel the same way any more about him. I'm amazed they put up with one another so long.
    He was in such a tizzy that he was hyperventilating, and wanted me to take her to her girlfriend's house immediately and I asked him if she was okay, thinking maybe she'd tried to do something horrid like kill herself. But he just had to get there that instant ... I had him take a clonidine first.
    I sat in the car while they talked outside her friend's house--mostly he cried, and I could read his lips--"I'm so sorry." Pitiful. Painful.
    Now he's at a guy-friend's house and I ma on my way to pick him up.
    This is going to be rough.
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Awww, this is so rough for him, sending him gentle hugs.
  3. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    Aw I'm sorry! I can imagine how painful this will be for him. Though I'm not sure if ms queen's ex boyfriend was a difficult child of not, I believe he had "issues" of some sort. She just recently had to break up with him too. Normally she is the one that will call far to much and be in your face type. This time she met her match with him because that's how he was to her to the extreme and all this talk of "love". It overwhelmed her so much that I could not believe the intensity. She didn't want to hurt him and was afraid to break up so she thought that if she just stopped taking his calls so much and slowly backed away he'd get the hint. I advised her not to do that as I KNEW that would not be the case since every time she told him a direct statement of other things that bothered him he didn't get it. I told her be direct and break up. Didn't work. This boy cried and felt like your difficult child does very much. Then he took to being very angry and aggressive.

    I can only hope it's a quick process for your difficult child. That his hurting heart heals quickly. I don't envy you. I really hope he doesn't hit the anger with his grief to hard. As you know difficult child's and anger don't mix well, it usually brings a whole lot of trouble.

    (hugs) for you and ones to pass on to your son and his hurting heart. Stay steady for the rough winds that may be coming behind....
  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I am sending caring thoughts and hugs to you and difficult child....it is difficult for easy child's but so much more difficult for difficult child's. been there done that and I'm sorry that your household is in emotional chaos. DDD
  5. helpangel

    helpangel Active Member

    Hugs for all of you, those first heartbreaks are the roughest and when our kids are in pain so are we. So sorry Terry

  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    How is he doing? Even my easy child was in a bad funk for three months after her first breakup with her first boyfriend. It was so sad to watch.
  7. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    AWWWWW! Poor baby. There is no pain like that of a first break up.
  8. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Those first break ups are torture to watch your child go through -- nothing you can do but just be there.
  9. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh I am sorry to hear that, it's so very hard for our difficult child's in a breakup............sending big hugs to all of you.........
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you.
    Yes, he's the in-your-face type, insisting she tell him she loves him, because he says it all day long.
    I think she needs a break.
    She's the quiet type who will explode.
    He will perseverate, build up and up and explode, and then apologize afterward, then start the cycle all over again.
    Her family is very dysfunctional. I feel sorry for her. There is no escape. When she turns 18, she will run, I have no doubt. She's got to figure out a way to make money asap. No aunts or uncles to go to, either.
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    They spent much of the day together and now they are studying. I have no idea what is going on!!!
    Plus, the girlfriend's mom, T, and I spoke earlier, and decided that the kids would study until 5:30 today, then I would pick up difficult child and give him dinner at home.
    Of course, T changed her plans because she was hungry, ran out and got McDonald's, and then called me on her way back. Arrrgh. I had just put food in the over.
    She is such a difficult child. husband can't stand to even hear her voice. Every other word is, "Whatever" or "You know."
    difficult child cooks half the meals at their house because T only knows how to cook pork chops.
    Thanks for letting me vent. :)
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    As of today they are back together. I don't know if that's good or bad.
  13. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well, for the moment, all is quiet on the Western Front...............enjoy it............
  14. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Oh boy, this relationship will be a lot of life lessons for him. The good, bad, ugly, and help him see what he doesn't want, or will not tolerate. He can't see the forest for the trees right now, though. They will both grow. Hugs to your mommy heart.
  15. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Thank you. Yes, they are both learning from this. But then again, maybe they're not learning. You know how difficult children are. :cautious: